As a child, I used to bite my toenails, which is grim. I can still do it. — Joe Lycett Copy Share Image
People say I'm charming, but I'm uneasy with that word. Quentin Crisp said: 'Charisma is the ability to influence without logic,' which is terrifying. — Joe Lycett Copy Share Image
I love painting. I love writing. I love creating and being around people who are creating. — Joe Lycett Copy Share Image
I think it's something to do with the nurturing side of the psyche; tying up a sunflower or whatever and helping it grow, it… — Joe Lycett Copy Share Image
Life is hard. There's parking fines, PPI, the Kardashians - it's a marvel any of us manage to get out of bed. — Joe Lycett Copy Share Image
You should always ask for a refund at the theatre, apart from my shows, of course, where I won't be handing out any refunds. — Joe Lycett Copy Share Image
Even though I now eat meat, I have halloumi every day - even at breakfast. — Joe Lycett Copy Share Image
I did a tweet about LGBTQ+ and someone was saying 'what's the + and what's the Q?' and some people would be like 'you… — Joe Lycett Copy Share Image
I nearly got hit by a car while I was trying to write a stupid joke but a female sheep stood in the way.… — Joe Lycett Copy Share Image
