Oh, no, we're not asking you to lose weight. That would be illegal. We just want you to be healthy, by eating less. So go home, weigh yourself on a scale, write than down. Then subtract 20 from that number.… — Knocked Up (The Movie Copy Share Image
Alison Scott: I was drunk! Ben Stone: Was your vagina drunk? — Knocked Up (The Movie Copy Share Image
You wanna know who I want to get pregnant? Felicity Huffman. Ever since I saw Transamerica, I can't get her out of my head.… — Knocked Up (The Movie Copy Share Image
Debbie: Who is that guy? Is that Ben's Rabbi? Is he the one that cuts the penis? Pete: I think it's Matisyahu. — Knocked Up (The Movie Copy Share Image
Pete: I'm gonna throw you in my DeLorean and gun it to 88. Ben Stone: [Mimicks car noise] VRRROOOOM — Knocked Up (The Movie Copy Share Image
Ben Stone: Do you want to do it doggie style? Alison Scott: You're not going to fuck me like a dog. Ben Stone: It's… — Knocked Up (The Movie Copy Share Image
You think I'm an inventor? "He created a dick-skin condom, He hollowed out a penis and put it on", what the fuck? -Ben Stone — Knocked Up (The Movie Copy Share Image
You're going to be embarrassed when you realize I'm Wilmer Valderama. -Ben Stone [to bartender] — Knocked Up (The Movie Copy Share Image
Pete: Just don't ask me to lend you any money. Ben Stone: Can I just - have some? — Knocked Up (The Movie Copy Share Image
Hey, don't let the door hit you in the vagina on the way out! -Fantasy Baseball Guy 1 — Knocked Up (The Movie Copy Share Image
Are you the lady who doesn't realize she's pregnant until she's sitting on the toilet and the kid pops out? -Debbie: [to Alison] — Knocked Up (The Movie Copy Share Image
Yeah, it's a cure-all. My buddy Jonah broke his elbow one time. He just smoked some weed. It still clicks, but it's cool. -Ben… — Knocked Up (The Movie Copy Share Image
Do you ever wonder how somebody could even like you? The biggest problem in our marriage is that she wants me around. And I… — Knocked Up (The Movie Copy Share Image