I joined a gym recently. I don't have the best history in the world of sticking with my fitness regimens, but I feel like this time's gonna be different. I figure one of two things is gonna happen: either I'll… — Christian Finnegan Copy Share Image
There are two kinds of intelligence in this world. People who are Monopoly smart and people who are Trivial Pursuit smart... If you're starting your own business, don't even talk to me. But If you need to know who the… — Christian Finnegan Copy Share Image
Basically Britney Spears' video is like a three an a half minute version of Glitter. — Christian Finnegan Copy Share Image
If you purchased the latest Joss Stone CD, what you're saying is that you're an employee of VH1. — Christian Finnegan Copy Share Image
If I could go back and talk to the me who was just starting to do comedy, I would have told myself to relax… — Christian Finnegan Copy Share Image
Pimp stands for Positive Intellectual Motivated Person. It has nothing to do with selling sex for money. — Christian Finnegan Copy Share Image
If you refuse to see Superman Returns this summer, what you're saying about yourself is: I heart Al Qaeda. — Christian Finnegan Copy Share Image
Basically, I got into stand-up because I'm too egocentric to be an actor and not disciplined enough to be a writer. — Christian Finnegan Copy Share Image
Jesus is a powerful guy in Hollywood. Not quite as powerful as Vin Diesel, but powerful. — Christian Finnegan Copy Share Image
I had no choice but to make me as a comedian, because I am not particularly gifted with a lot of marketable skills. Unless… — Christian Finnegan Copy Share Image
It's my genius plan of avoiding any career momentum whatsoever. Definitely the pop-culture thing is something I've avoided in my act. It's just too… — Christian Finnegan Copy Share Image
I really respect peple who try. People who say, No, I'm actually going to do the best I can. That said, you want to… — Christian Finnegan Copy Share Image
