Twitter Quotes by Nikhil Saluja · Page 14

My mistakes always learn from me.

— Nikhil Saluja

A fool and his money ¦can throw a truly great party!

— Nikhil Saluja

TOOTHACHE: The pain that drives you to extraction.

— Nikhil Saluja

Women speak in estrogen. Men listen in testosterone.

— Nikhil Saluja

Imagine what will happen if ice-creams licked you back.

— Nikhil Saluja

Never be afraid to take some chances. That's how you grow.

— Nikhil Saluja

Light Lunch? Whiskey and a Cigar

— Nikhil Saluja

A smile is nearly always inspired by another smile. :) :)

— Nikhil Saluja

I feel like today is going to be a good day but I am bringing my shotgun just in case.

— Nikhil Saluja

People who use the phrase I'm not here to judge are the most judgmental people you'll ever meet.

— Nikhil Saluja

I relish the fact that you've mustard the strength to ketchup to me.

— Nikhil Saluja

BLOODY HELL FUCKING SHIT GOD DAMNIT I RIPPED MY KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON POSTER!

— Nikhil Saluja

I have an impersonal trainer. We meet at the gym, we dont talk, he works out alone, and I go home.

— Nikhil Saluja

A dentist and a manicurist married. .. . . They fought tooth and nail.

— Nikhil Saluja

I just need a search engine that'll remember exactly what I was about to Google when I forget.

— Nikhil Saluja

I don't take it personally if you unfollow me. Just make sure you never check into foursquare in the future.

— Nikhil Saluja

MARRIAGE, A confrontation which always demands the greatest understanding of the subtle art of insincerity possible between two human beings;

— Nikhil Saluja

Why do they put alcohol on the arm of a death row inmate before they give him the needle? Are they afraid…

— Nikhil Saluja

I asked my mom, 'How old were you when I was born?' My mom replied, '23' Me: 'Wow, that's a lot of…

— Nikhil Saluja

Police arrested 2 youths yesterday. One was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one & let the other off.

— Nikhil Saluja

It seems like only people doing REALLY well in life post those Facebook status updates where every third letter is randomly capitalized.

— Nikhil Saluja

The ones that learn by reading…… The few who learn by observation….. The rest of them have to pee on the electric…

— Nikhil Saluja

If all woman in the world died today, human race would no longer possess the secret of how to properly wrap a…

— Nikhil Saluja

Ladies, If your man is telling, you are so cute & funny, Tell him you are on periods & see the PMS…

— Nikhil Saluja

Whiskey & Vagina go hand in hand.

— Nikhil Saluja

I could have done way better - me, after posting any tweet

— Nikhil Saluja

LOVE, The only game that two can play and both win;

— Nikhil Saluja

LOVE, The crocodile in the river of desire;

— Nikhil Saluja

This isn't an office-It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

— Nikhil Saluja

HUSBAND, is much like a fire -- he goes out if unattended;

— Nikhil Saluja

As a true atheist I'm am actually popeless romantic.

— Nikhil Saluja

The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

— Nikhil Saluja

To me, drink responsibly means don't spill it.

— Nikhil Saluja

HUSBAND, A man who has to grow old alone;

— Nikhil Saluja

I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

— Nikhil Saluja

I always wonder if doctors could read their own tweets.

— Nikhil Saluja

One girl's Ewww is another girl's way to get followers.

— Nikhil Saluja

The things that give me headaches are usually women.

— Nikhil Saluja

The cottage went on a diet. It wanted to be a lighthouse.

— Nikhil Saluja

For those who were offended by my tweets; fuck you.

— Nikhil Saluja