I've been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper. Honest, I only meant to rough him up a bit. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My best tweets are when someone take them personnel & instantly unfollow me. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Hey everybody on Twitter, I think we can cool it with all the jokes. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
*Follows Dreams* *Wait for few hours* *Dreams dont follow back* *Unfollows dreams* — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, An investment that pays big dividends if you manage to keep up the interest. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Third party auditor is a person who always tells that this is not the Right baby. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
It's not a day that don't go by that I don't thank God for waking me up to enjoy life and appreciate… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, A tradition which would suffer considerably if men had to pay the minister the same fee they will eventually have to… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Woman say:WE'RE MOVING TOO QUICKLY. Woman means:I'm not going to stay over until I find out if this guy at the gym… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The other day a girl wearing a shirt that says I'm just waiting for a better day so I Smooched her &… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
On his daughter's diaper: There was so much poop. It didn't look like a baby's poop. It looked like a 55-year-old alcoholic… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The NFL is boring, the NBA is disintegrating, baseball is totally predictable. Maybe we do need the XFL. Maybe we need Nude… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, The ceremony which provides a man with something that, sooner or later, he will find he can't blame on the government; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I miss you when I'm not with you. When I'm not with you all I do is think about you. When I… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sometimes I look at my awesome twitter followers & think to myself, What the hell would I do without them :) — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
I won't be tweeting this sunday. I have better things to do like bashing myself by following girls on streets. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
Men and women shop differently. Men know what they want before they see it. Women don't know what they want until they see it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
I used to receive virtual smiles, sweet morning and night greetings. Now all I have is silence, and a blistered heart. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
Do girls really look at penises and say Wow, I can't wait to put that in my mouth? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
