Yest I climbed up a tree & read out a bird some of my tweets. She looked at me, shook her head… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When I held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of power - like God must feel when he's holding… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
WIFE, Is in trouble with her roles when her husband finds her a whore in the kitchen and a cook in the… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
LOOK OUT!: What it's too late for your child to do by the time you scream it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
WRINKLES: Something other people have, Similar to my character lines. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
They always say to treat people the way you want to be treated. So far, I've given 4 handjobs today. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My girl went away for the weekend, and I didn't masturbate once. I masturbated 21 times. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
LOVE, Something which combines the two greatest powers on earth -- war and peace; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Following twitter celebrities is exactly like realizing that the pretty girl talking to you works for playboy. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Here is a strategy; Follow someone, they follow you back, you unfollow them. -A douchebag with mental issues on Twitter. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Honey, please help me find a match for this sock. What for? Are you going to set it on fire? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, A group which consists of: a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I can't listen to the radio. Every love song reminds me of you. It hurts. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Everytime someone tweet 'Love is in the air' I usually go & shave my balls. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My wife always bring these injured animals to home. I think she should just stop driving. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I was going to shoot myself a minute ago but your inspirational tweet showed me the light. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Nothing is sadder than a guy who complains on Facebook about how shitty his sex life is. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Marriage paralyzes men from the neck up and women from the waist down. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
'Unfollowers' Spelled backwards is srewollofnu. Which sounds like screw all of you. Coincidence? I think not — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sometimes I look at my awesome twitter followers & think to myself, What the hell would I do without them :) — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
I won't be tweeting this sunday. I have better things to do like bashing myself by following girls on streets. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
Men and women shop differently. Men know what they want before they see it. Women don't know what they want until they see it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
I used to receive virtual smiles, sweet morning and night greetings. Now all I have is silence, and a blistered heart. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
Do girls really look at penises and say Wow, I can't wait to put that in my mouth? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
