I think people need to laugh everyday. Whether the economy is good or bad, I think the most important thing is to… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
Portia and I have been married for 4 years and they have been the happiest of my life. And in those 4… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
I really don't think I need buns of steel. I'd be happy with buns of cinnamon. — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
I think people talk too much anyway. Sometimes people are talking to me and in my mind I'm just like “shut up,… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
The word "yoga" literally means "uniting", because when you're doing it you are uniting your mind and your body. You can tell… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
But I do believe that's when you do your soul-searching. I think when you have these trials that life gives you, it… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
I think gender plays a part in most things, but I don't know how it would be different because I've never been… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
There are people out there hiding all kinds of things. People who have all this success and all this fame and all… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
I think the hard thing about this job [stand-up] I mean, I think this part is great but that the traveling is… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
You know how you always expect someone to think the same as you and then your like, really shocked when they don't?… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
I admire people who know they can't sing. There are so many people out there who can't sing, but they think they… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
I cannot believe they haven't yet come up with a better screening process than the mammogram. If a man had to put… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
I just feel like every kid is growing up too fast and they're seeing too much. Everything is about sex, and that's… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
Here's the analogy. If my body were a car, I'd be thinking about trading it in around now. I would like to… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
I don't pay attention to the number of birthdays. It's weird when I say I'm 53. It just is crazy that I'm… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
I think there's a whole bunch of things that go along with being a girl. You're not supposed to have opinions or… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
Why is it that when you wipe up dust its called dusting but when you wipe up a spill its not called… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
Laugh. Laugh as much as you can. Laugh until you cry. Cry until you laugh. Keep doing it even if people are… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
My dad is still Christian Scientist. My mom's not, and I'm not. But I believe in God, and that there's a higher… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
You listen to any monologue on late-night TV or just in general, to people talking, and there's always a joke at someone's… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
I see those picketers, and I think you know, if I weren't a loving, non-violent, spiritual person, I would really go over… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
Have you ever heard somebody sing some lyrics that you've never sung before, and you realize you've never sung the right words… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
I'm a comedian, and I definitely see the humor in a lot of things. I am also sad a lot. I cry… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
I wanted to have money; I wanted to be special; I wanted people to like me; I wanted to be famous. — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
I think what saved me is me being honest. I think I somewhow had the courage to do something and say something that I… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
I think there's too much mult-tasking going on. I think people need to quiet down and focus and be still more. — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
We can sit and worry about what's going to happen to us two weeks from now. I'd rather focus on the amazing things happening… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
It's our challenges and obstacles that give us layers of depth and make us interesting. Are they fun when they happen? No. But they… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
I had done a sitcom and a movie and hosted the Emmys, and all of a sudden, I lost everything. As someone put it… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
The thing everyone should realize is that the key to happiness is being happy for yourself and yourself. — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
Save a life this Thanksgiving, and join me in starting a new tradition by adopting a turkey instead of eating one through Farm Sanctuary's… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
Answers to Frequently Asked Questions: Yes. Yes. No. One time in high school. Three times in my twenties. Rocks no salt. Yes. Four. Never.… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
Actually this is really funny - one time she accidentally forgot to leave a note and I had no idea she had even moved.… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
A circus! 100 clowns of injustice have climbed out of the tiny clown car of this court room. — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
Gratitude is looking on the brighter side of the life, even if it means hurting your eyes. — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
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