Song Quotes by Jarod Kintz

“I always thought I’d make a great backup singer. I don’t practice. It’s just pure talent.”

— Jarod Kintz

“I've been trying to start a garage band for over a decade now, but father won't move his car.”

— Jarod Kintz

“Music can elevate man to new heights. Especially elevator music.”

— Jarod Kintz

“Music has the power to shake society, especially if the bass is turned way up.”

— Jarod Kintz

“I would be an organ donor, but I’d much rather donate a piano.”

— Jarod Kintz

“I want to drum up interest for instruments that are played by beating them with sticks.”

— Jarod Kintz

“I’d like to make the argument that The Cars were the first garage band.”

— Jarod Kintz

“I like great music, but who doesn’t? Oh yeah, deaf people.”

— Jarod Kintz

“A zebra is the piano of the animal kingdom. And I am the flute at the nudist colony, if you know what…

— Jarod Kintz

“I believe men belong in the garage, because that’s where the dog food is stored. And the band is kept there. Auditions…

— Jarod Kintz

“I want to write a song about one man's level of commitment called, "I'd walk to the edge of the world, just…

— Jarod Kintz

“I want to write a song called “Two Straws and a Spoon,” about one man being cuckolded by a milkshake.”

— Jarod Kintz

“You can’t become a famous garage band if you never perform outside your garage. That’s why my band plays in my driveway.”

— Jarod Kintz

“I’m sleepin’ in your pee pee, and I’m dreaming of what could be.” That’s just the chorus of a little love song…

— Jarod Kintz

“I want to write a song about the only girl I’ve ever loved. And the chorus will say something like, “I really…

— Jarod Kintz

“My love is like the shape your mouth makes while you whistle. Would you mind if I accompanied you on my harmonica?”

— Jarod Kintz

“I don’t think anybody’s ever written a song called, “There’s urine on the couch, and the remote control is in the shower.”…

— Jarod Kintz

“Queen always seemed to me to be manufactured championship music—designed to be played in stadiums to get fans hyped up about paying…

— Jarod Kintz

“I want to see an elephant hunt down a man for the sole purpose of collecting his teeth, while a chorus of…

— Jarod Kintz

“If radios and microwaves merged, then the ideal pop song would be three minutes, or the length of time a bag of…

— Jarod Kintz

“I wrote a song called "Stinky Sodomite." It isn't a pop song, a historical song, or a song condemning homosexuality. Rather, it…

— Jarod Kintz

“Zebras are the lions of the animal world. I mean they would be, if lions weren’t already the lions of the animal…

— Jarod Kintz

“Yeah, I enjoy musical chairs. My furniture is deaf, so it gets rather interesting.”

— Jarod Kintz

“I heard a song I hate and I thought of her. Ah, such is love.”

— Jarod Kintz

“For your learning disability pleasure, I’ll be playing a song backwards.”

— Jarod Kintz

“Together me and Amy are Jaramy. Pearl Jam wrote a song about us speaking in class.”

— Jarod Kintz

“Garbage truck beepers belong in a symphony. Or would that really put the phony in symphony?”

— Jarod Kintz

“I want to go to Sing Sing prison. I’ll bet they’ve got a good chorus.”

— Jarod Kintz

“Mr. Bass, would you say you fish a lot? Or do you prefer strumming stringed instruments?”

— Jarod Kintz

“I want to write a song based on my own childbirth. Of course, this is all a bit premature.”

— Jarod Kintz

“I just acquired a choir. I bought it for a song.”

— Jarod Kintz

“I want to be my own wedding singer at my own wedding. But first I’ll have to audition.”

— Jarod Kintz

“Music enters through the ear, not the penis hole. This is probably a common mistake most deaf men make.”

— Jarod Kintz

“I think a cool band name would be War Dwarf. Of course, I’m entirely too tall and peaceful to be a member.…

— Jarod Kintz

“I’m a one-man show. I need to start a band. You wanna join? Too bad! What about one-man band don’t you understand?”

— Jarod Kintz

“What I did I can’t undo. But I can address it, and undress you.” This is the chorus in a new song…

— Jarod Kintz

“If anybody can appreciate fine music, it's me. I mean who else can hit multiple octaves with their armpits?”

— Jarod Kintz

“I want to create moonglasses, and then write a song called, "I Wear My Moonglasses at Noon." Hopefully, with a little lunar…

— Jarod Kintz

“Cher and share alike. At least in sound. Most of the decisions I make are sound, exactly like Beethoven when he wrote…

— Jarod Kintz

“While I was there, the song reminded me of here. But now that I’m here, the song reminds me of there. But…

— Jarod Kintz