Sleep Quotes by Jarod Kintz

“I make sleep like I make love, only with more energy and excitement.”

— Jarod Kintz

“Sometimes I retreat into sleep to advance my mood.”

— Jarod Kintz

“If you catch me talking in my sleep, your conversation bored me.”

— Jarod Kintz

“I sleep on my side. And if you’re not on my side, you’re against me.”

— Jarod Kintz

“A blanket could be used to stop gun violence. Make sleep, not war.
”

— Jarod Kintz

“I am the man of your dreams. Go back to sleep.”

— Jarod Kintz

“I want more sleep. It won’t happen, but I can dream, right?”

— Jarod Kintz

“I like cream and sugar in my sleep.”

— Jarod Kintz

“You can’t be the best all the time. But that’s what clones are for—to be you while you sleep.”

— Jarod Kintz

“I have about as much practice sleeping as everyone else, though I’d like to have more.”

— Jarod Kintz

“Let the best of your competition take out the rest of your competition, while you rest and then take out only that…

— Jarod Kintz

“If I look like I haven’t slept for eight hours, it’s because I haven’t. Oh, I wasn’t up all night. I slept…

— Jarod Kintz

“I’m a powerful being. I caused the night to turn into day. And I didn’t even try! I simply waited. I’ll bet…

— Jarod Kintz

“I’ll leave the rest to you. Then, once you’re finished with the last part, I’ll leave you to rest.”

— Jarod Kintz

“I drink sleep, but not like I drink coffee. I chug one and sip the other.”

— Jarod Kintz

“When I can’t write I read. When I can’t read I sleep. And when I can’t sleep I write.”

— Jarod Kintz

“I had a dream about you. I asked you out to coffee, and you said, “No thanks. I’m a recovering insomniac.” I…

— Jarod Kintz

“A blanket could be used to teach geography to a sleeping man. Better do it quick, before he wakes up and finds…

— Jarod Kintz

“In my dream I woke up to realize I was tired and needed to go to sleep. Then I slowly remembered that…

— Jarod Kintz

“A pitcher throwing a pitcher full of sleep has a lot of pitch and yawn. My love has pitch and yaw, which…

— Jarod Kintz

“I don’t sleep on the left side of the bed, or the right side, because there is a third option: to not…

— Jarod Kintz

“The worst part about working in a hotel is when I’m tired, I know I can’t sample the very thing I sell:…

— Jarod Kintz

“It’s been said that the most successful people are often early risers. So that’s why I started getting up in the afternoon,…

— Jarod Kintz

“A boring machine, would it drill holes—or put you to sleep? The two-party political system, that’s a boring machine, though voters are…

— Jarod Kintz

“I had to be at work at 8 am this morning, so I set my alarm clock for 7:49. Naturally, my body…

— Jarod Kintz

“My headboard has bars, like a jail cell. Sometimes I’ll be asleep and think I’m in prison, and I’ll hear my alarm…

— Jarod Kintz

“When I write my dreams down, I can relive my sleep when I am awake.”

— Jarod Kintz

“Come, midget, and use my pillow as a sleeping bag.”

— Jarod Kintz

“The best way to deal with tiredness is to sleep it off.”

— Jarod Kintz

“Sleep: to see and do, and do nothing.”

— Jarod Kintz

“At the end of the day, people go to sleep. Let’s also put the cliché “At the end of the day” to…

— Jarod Kintz

“When a whisper seems like a shout, I know I need to get some sleep. But I can’t lay down without first…

— Jarod Kintz

“You've got to get up pretty early in the morning to beat me to my rooster costume.”

— Jarod Kintz

“My bed is better than all the rest. That’s why I just stand there staring at it, rather than actually laying down…

— Jarod Kintz

“Dreamland, I couldn’t stay away, because I couldn’t stay awake. I traveled there in my sleep, at 65 miles per hour, while…

— Jarod Kintz

“In bed, I could climb in, if you ever rest. Then I could mount you like Everest.”

— Jarod Kintz

“Is the only reason you get out of bed because you can’t sleep anymore? I’m like that sometimes.”

— Jarod Kintz

“I just realized my reality, and I’d like to say No Thanks. I’m going back to sleep.”

— Jarod Kintz

“I have a mansion of an imagination, and I cordially invite you to come sleep in my shed.”

— Jarod Kintz

“For better sleep tonight, pre-order your duck fight today. It’ll give your pillow the energy you need to power slumber through to…

— Jarod Kintz