Teacher: 'Why didn't you do your homework?' Student; 'Sorry, but Kanye West didn't let me finish...' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I don't really hate you, it's just that if you were on fire, I'd roast marshmallows.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters. — David Gerrold Copy Share Image
You think your life is hard? Just think, there's a turtle out there has been flipped on its back and can't get… — Pretty Ladii Copy Share Image
Having sarcastic conversations with yourself when people are ignoring you. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving. Or, as it's known to Native Americans - Sarcastic You're Welcomesgiving. — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
“You've heard of 'don't harsh my mellow'...when I get sarcastic, I like it so well, it's 'don't mellow my harsh'!” — Dayanara Ryelle Copy Share Image
I hate hearing her voice, and seeing her face. And we live in the same house... like hell. — Rakii Retondo Copy Share Image
“We went to Mexico, had some tequlia, eloped with a pair of drug smugglers, and took part-time jobs as exotic dancers. You… — Jennifer Lynn Barnes Copy Share Image
The bad thing about being a famous comedian is that every now and then someone approaches me to tell an old joke.… — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
I grew up in a family of ten. You had to have, like, a burst appendix to get the floor… My brothers… — Mary Robison Copy Share Image
“Caroline's lips thinned, her face flushed. "My husband, sir, has more secrets in his tiny, insignificant mind than the entire British War… — Adele Ashworth Copy Share Image
In the United States today, we have more than our share of the nattering nabobs of negativism. They have formed their own… — Spiro T. Agnew Copy Share Image
Let me ruin your life, let me break your heart, then I'll ask you why we can't be friends. Let me rip… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“I don’t even pretend to believe I know everything; I just believe in arguments God told me I had a pretty good… — Shannon L. Alder Copy Share Image
I would love to make a sarcastic film; I am so sarcastic that even my kids are now getting used to my… — Farah Khan Copy Share Image
“I never learned to swim." "Wonderful.That had to be the one skill you don't possess,didn't it?" How could he be so sarcastic… — Johanna Lindsey Copy Share Image
At a turbulent public meeting once I lost my temper and said some harsh and sarcastic things. The proposal I was supporting… — Arthur Gordon Webster Copy Share Image
“this sentence I'm reading is terrific" i can be quite sarcastic when I'm in the mood. He didn't get it, though. He… — J.D. Salinger Copy Share Image
I watched Master Class with Lorne Michaels on OWN. How can somebody produce a sketch show and talk for an hour and… — Andy Kindler Copy Share Image
I am a very strong supporter of the Second Amendment. And I am I don't know if Hillary was saying it… — Donald Trump Copy Share Image
I was very bored at school. I found it very easy and slow and grey. My teachers didn't really know how to… — Carlos Ruiz Zafon Copy Share Image
I'm sketching ideas. They're a completely different way of working than working with editors at a magazine where you're always working with… — Max Vadukul Copy Share Image
It goes Christmas, New Year's Eve, Valentine's Day. Is that fair to anyone who's alone? These are all days you gotta be… — Laura Kightlinger Copy Share Image
So does 'shuffle' mean playing all the songs you don't want to hear? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
