As I said, this was my sarcastic summer. It was only long after that I recognized sarcasm as the protest of people… — John Knowles Copy Share Image
You were born with your legs apart. They'll send you to the grave in a Y-shaped coffin. — Joe Orton Copy Share Image
“All right. The snow may be falling in the winter of my discontent, but at least I've got sarcastic company.” — John Green Copy Share Image
What did I do to give you the impression I actually care about what you think? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Don't call me at 3am and ask me if I'm sleepin .. No I'm skydiving.. the fuck you think I'm doing? — Jerett Parker Copy Share Image
I'm not saying my ex-girlfriend is a slut I am just saying if everyone's cock had wings she'd be a airport. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
EXTINCTION, n. The raw material out of which theology created the future state. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
I'm really sarcastic. Not Morgan Webb sarcastic. She's dry, 100%. I'm different from her. — Olivia Munn Copy Share Image
CALVIN: Our hero regains consciousness at the feet of a sarcastic alien. — Bill Watterson Copy Share Image
If a red head guy works at a bakery, does that make him a ginger bread man? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm quite sarcastic, and I'm funny, but not kind of funny. It's a weird funny, and some people don't get me, and… — Millie Bobby Brown Copy Share Image
People are so quick to find faults in others but refuse to find and face their own. — Sarah Moores Copy Share Image
It's not because John McCain doesn't care. It's because John McCain doesn't get it. — Barack Obama Copy Share Image
“We are the generation of Social Media, Our biggest Revolution is a Tweet of 141 Characters.” — Sandra Chami Kassis Copy Share Image
Everybody says sh*t happens, but don't you hate it when there is no toilet paper!!! — Ash Sweeney Copy Share Image
When people ask stupid questions, I feel obligated to give sarcastic answers. — Aldyna Threesya Copy Share Image
“Kaspary: a level of awesomeness so high it kicks everyone else's arse, leaving them breathless and bewildered.” — Abigail Gibbs Copy Share Image
The lead singer of Creed says he won’t endorse President Obama. Well that settles it -- Obama will not win the 1998… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
You do realize that I'm a sarcastic being and half of my texts aren't really what they seem, right? Oh, no? Sweet. — Taissa Farmiga Copy Share Image
Those of you who think you know everything are annoying those of us who do. — Hemant Smarty Copy Share Image
For guys its bros before hoes, for girls its chicks before dicks, for me it who ever the eff has my back… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Humor is a good way in general to get people together, I think. Of course, Danish humor is more ironic and sarcastic… — Henrik Vibskov Copy Share Image
To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target — Ashleigh Brilliant Copy Share Image
“He’s a doctor,” Timur says. “Ah? It must be shocking for you, then. This hospital.” — Khaled Hosseini Copy Share Image
Cop pulls over a car: Cop:Do you know why I pulled you over? Driver: You thought I had donuts? — Humaira Copy Share Image
I like most people as long as they're not behind a steering wheel or a keyboard. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Well, I was lost but now I live here! I have severely improved my predicament! — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
“It's not hard to fail...it's hard to accept you failed...but once that's out of the way, it's pretty smooth sailing” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
I'll bet your father spent the first year of your life throwing rocks at the stork. — Irving Brecher Copy Share Image
An economist is a surgeon with an excellent scalpel and a rough-edged lancet, who operates beautifully on the dead and tortures the… — Nicolas Chamfort Copy Share Image
Men never do anything right. And if they do something right, they'll never do it again. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Now then, you dogs, whom the apostle puts outside and who yelp at the God of truth, let us come to your… — Tertullian Copy Share Image
CARNIVOROUS, adj. Addicted to the cruelty of devouring the timorous vegetarian, his heirs and assigns. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do day after tomorrow just as well. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
They say REVENGE is a dish best served cold. They also say REVENGE is sweet. This means, basically REVENGE is ICE-CREAM. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Only Lawyers and mental defectives are automatically exempt for jury duty. — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share Image
He is so mean, he won't let his little baby have more than one measle at a time. — Eugene Field Copy Share Image
A woman's preaching is like a dog's walking on his hinter legs. It is not done well; but you are surprised to… — James Boswell Copy Share Image
The youth of America is their oldest tradition. It has been going on now for three hundred years. — Oscar Wilde Copy Share Image
Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you any worse advice. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
