Sarcastic Quotes · Page 27

She has been kissed as often as a police-court Bible, and by much the same class of people.

— Robertson Davies

You laugh because you called me a retarded country girl , I laugh because you actually think you insulted me. I'm country…

— Stephanie

I'm in love with you, you just want to be friends, and I'm totally cool living with that constant pain.

— Anonymous

My back is not a voicemail. If you want to say something, say it to my face

— Bernajoy Vaal

Being sarcastic to dumb people because they can't tell if your being honest.

— Anonymous

I can see that you're upset...Maybe you should post about it all over Facebook. That should eliminate any drama.

— Anonymous

The main reason I don't have friends is, I don't know the difference between being sarcastic and being offensive.

— Anonymous

“This is what happened in love. One of you cried a lot and then both of you grow sarcastic.”

— Lorrie Moore

Oh you always retweet love quotes? You're so romantic I can't imagine why you're single.

— Anonymous

Home isn't where the heart is, home is a place you go where they have to let you in

— Anonymous

People seem to enjoy things more when they know a lot of other people have been left out of the pleasure.

— Russell Baker

I'm going to eat something I found on the ground ... and when I do, I'm going to say Yum Yum!

— Higher Grounds

Arguments are extremely vulgar, for everybody in good society holds exactly the same opinions.

— Oscar Wilde

Oh, it's sunny outside. I better update my Facebook status for all of my friends that don't have windows.

— Anonymous

If you're going to be a smartass first you have to be smart, otherwise you're just being an ass!

— Anonymous

Having sarcastic friends will make you more creative. Sarcasm is a brain stimulant

— Anonymous

She looked as though butter wouldn't melt in her mouth - or anywhere else.

— Elsa Lanchester

It is true, I worry about the hype. The only person more over-hyped than me is you.

— Barack Obama

Never mumble some sarcastic shit to somebody who can obviously f*ck you up.

— Ice T

I see her as one great stampede of lips directed at the nearest derriere.

— Noel Coward

“All of your sarcastic—" "Multilayered." "—answers will not help your cause. You're very flippant about these proceedings.”

— Kresley Cole

They don't hardly make 'em like him any more - but just to be on the safe side, he should be castrated…

— Hunter S. Thompson

You take the lies out of him, and he'll shrink to the size of your hat; you take the malice out of…

— Mark Twain

Women with pasts interest men because they hope history will repeat itself.

— Mae West

I've always been a sarcastic person and people I dated would say, 'Oh, you're hilarious,' but it never occurred to me to…

— Janelle James

You're right, all guys are the same. It has nothing to do with you exclusively dating douchebags.

— Anonymous

The human race is lucky I'm a nice girl, otherwise only 1/4 of them would be alive right now.

— Airyell Speaks

The Englishman who has lost his fortune is said to have died of a broken heart.

— Ralph Waldo Emerson

Musical people always want one to be perfectly dumb at the very moment when one is longing to be perfectly deaf.

— Oscar Wilde

I don't know if Hillary [Clinton] was saying it in a sarcastic manner, but I'm very proud to have the endorsement of…

— Donald Trump

They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge.

— Anonymous

“Destiny stands by sarcastic with our dramatis personæ folded in her hand.”

— George Eliot

The moment I start to care is the moment i've finally lost what little sanity i've miraculously held onto...either way,that's not good.

— Anonymous

I don't think you are a fool, but what's my opinion compared to that of thousands of others.

— Anonymous

I said [ Barack Obama], the founder of ISIS. Obviously, I'm being sarcastic.But not that sarcastic, to be honest with you.

— Donald Trump

Its annoying when my sister is a smartass in front of her friends. Sorry but youre not cool or funny for being…

— Anonymous

Put every great teacher in a room, and they'd agree about everything, but put their disciples in there and they'd argue about…

— Bruce Lee

Were you dropped on your headwhen you were younger? Yeah, in a pool of sexy.

— Anonymous

She resembles the Venus de Milo: she is very old, has no teeth, and has white spots on her yellow skin.

— Heinrich Heine

I can't go to a bad movie by myself. What, am I gonna make sarcastic remarks to strangers?

— Jerry Seinfeld