Sorry, honey. Sarcasm falls from my mouth as easily as stupidity falls from yours... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Creative semantics is the key to contemporary government; it consists of talking in strange tongues lest the public learn the inevitable inconveniently… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Anyone who starts a sentence With all due respect...is about to insult you! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Final Destination 5...well someone doesn't understand the meaning of 'Final'. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
No, that dress doesn't make you seem fat...but your dependence on others' opinions definitely makes you seem shallow. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A police officer came up to me yesterday and said, 'Where were you between four and six?' I said, 'Kindergarten' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A guy was trying to get a girl's attention. He decided to ask her to help him with his homework. She agreed.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
*lays down to take a nap* *wakes up 8 hours later pissed off and confused* — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear Job Application, if this is an entry level position, how am I supposed to have previous experience... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You must be the arithmetic man; you add trouble, subtract pleasure, divide attention, and multiply ignorance. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“You have to be a sexologist: when I wish your fuckin' advice, I'll let you know.” — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I like messed up people, and I try to associate with them as much as I possibly can. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Having to delete songs for making room in your iPod is like having to kill some of your children because you can't… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Today's forecast; severe attitude warnings possible throughout the day, scattered sarcasm showers, and a strong chance of annoyance later in the day... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
