“Mary, Joseph, and baby Jesus. My lips hurt from pressing them together to muffle the scream. Sorry, baby Jesus. I shouldn’t be thinking about you right now.” — Alice Ward Copy Share Image
“No one pressured me, especially famous people who thought their farts should be bottled into a custom-made perfume.” — Alice Ward Copy Share Image
“I sat up and squeezed my ass cheeks together hard. “I really don’t think that’s nec—” Jolie raised an eyebrow. “Do you really want… — Alice Ward Copy Share Image
“Mary, Joseph, and baby Jesus. My lips hurt from pressing them together to muffle the scream. Sorry, baby Jesus. I shouldn’t be thinking about… — Alice Ward Copy Share Image
“the satellite was down. Not that I was surprised. A cow could piss in the road and the damn thing would fuck up on… — Alice Ward Copy Share Image
“It was crazy. Why can a mother look into the eyes of her child for the first time and feel insta-love, but that same… — Alice Ward Copy Share Image
“How did you learn to do that?” I snickered. “YouTube, of course. That was actually my first time. Worked even better than expected.” — Alice Ward Copy Share Image
“Terror in a woman’s eyes signals that to you?” She gave me a sassy wink. “Tell me more about how you gauge when a… — Alice Ward Copy Share Image
“I should have known. The second I felt a pair of eyes on me at Enigma, I should have known trouble was coming my… — Alice Ward Copy Share Image
“Well, congratulations, you won. Now leave, you motherfuckering piece of shit scum of the Earth.” — Alice Ward Copy Share Image
“Forever isn’t enough time to be with you, so if I went today, tomorrow, or a million years from now, it still would never… — Alice Ward Copy Share Image
