Real-time-with-bill-maher Quotes

“I don't want to say Monsanto is evil right off the bat, but why is Monsanto so evil?”

— Bill Maher

“People who call themselves divas...you are not a diva. I'm pretty sure you're a cunt.”

— Sarah Silverman

“You don't need a weapon to protect yourself.”

— Bill Maher

“And, corny as it may sound, I do cherish the bond between me and the audience, the minority that follows my stuff…

— Bill Maher

“I'm not a Christian, but I have read his book.”

— Bill Maher

“That's not water. That's socialism juice. We should bomb Lake Erie.”

— Bill Maher

“Fake it. We know you can do that. We’ve seen your sex tape.”

— Bill Maher

“You just got your nerd credentials back.”

— Bill Maher

“Every day in America is a day with a shooting.”

— Bill Maher

“The thing they're trying to stop is 30-million people getting health insurance. That's the substance.”

— Chris Hayes

“New Rule: Any tattoo that has more than one line is too long.”

— Bill Maher

“He sold Syria way better than he sold this.”

— Bill Maher