Maybe life involves the pairing of unsuitable people, those who wait and those who keep others waiting, and the key to happiness is finding the one person with whom you share the same internal chronometer. — Jacob M. Appel Copy Share Image
Always warm up the audience with a joke....If you are not a particularly funny person, make sure that you inform them that it's a joke. — Jacob M. Appel Copy Share Image
Marriage is like a series of opposing reflections, inverse images getting ever smaller like nesting dolls, each one of your trying to squeeze yourself… — Jacob M. Appel Copy Share Image
Never make enemies of anyone younger or healthier than you are. They write your history. — Jacob M. Appel Copy Share Image
Maybe that is the greatest of wonders: that we can be shaped so much by those we've known closely, and equally by those we've… — Jacob M. Appel Copy Share Image
There is a fundamental difference, however, between asking to be permitted to keep a vegetative relative on costly machinery, and asking the taxpayers or… — Jacob M. Appel Copy Share Image
Much as we do not permit convicted pedophiles to teach kindergarten or convicted hijackers to board airplanes, common sense dictates that individuals who have… — Jacob M. Appel Copy Share Image
Know your load. That's rule numero uno in this business, which is why I make them count the penguins out in front of me… — Jacob M. Appel Copy Share Image
“Battery Park resonates with lust as the sun approaches its zenith. A primal impulse takes hold of the young couples strolling the gravel walkways,… — Jacob M. Appel Copy Share Image
“I have vicarious morning sickness. Other people's babies make me nauseous.” — Jacob M. Appel Copy Share Image
Maybe life involves the pairing of unsuitable people, those who wait and those who keep others waiting, and the key to happiness is finding… — Jacob M. Appel Copy Share Image
I am grateful that I have rights in the proverbial public square - but, as a practical matter, my most cherished rights are those… — Jacob M. Appel Copy Share Image
