Jacob M. Appel

Nothing sells tombstones like a Girl Scout in uniform.

— Jacob M. Appel

Marriage is like a series of opposing reflections, inverse images getting ever smaller like nesting dolls, each one of your trying to…

— Jacob M. Appel

Never make enemies of anyone younger or healthier than you are. They write your history.

— Jacob M. Appel

Maybe that is the greatest of wonders: that we can be shaped so much by those we've known closely, and equally by…

— Jacob M. Appel

There is a fundamental difference, however, between asking to be permitted to keep a vegetative relative on costly machinery, and asking the…

— Jacob M. Appel

Much as we do not permit convicted pedophiles to teach kindergarten or convicted hijackers to board airplanes, common sense dictates that individuals…

— Jacob M. Appel

Know your load. That's rule numero uno in this business, which is why I make them count the penguins out in front…

— Jacob M. Appel

“Battery Park resonates with lust as the sun approaches its zenith. A primal impulse takes hold of the young couples strolling the…

— Jacob M. Appel

“I have vicarious morning sickness. Other people's babies make me nauseous.”

— Jacob M. Appel

Maybe life involves the pairing of unsuitable people, those who wait and those who keep others waiting, and the key to happiness…

— Jacob M. Appel

Choose old people for enemies. They die. You win.

— Jacob M. Appel

I am grateful that I have rights in the proverbial public square - but, as a practical matter, my most cherished rights…

— Jacob M. Appel

“Nixon’s offences had been so long in the past, so much part of a different era that he now seemed like some…

— Jacob M. Appel

While the visible victims may draw the headlines and attract indignant protests from so-called "pro-life" organizations, the invisible victims are people like…

— Jacob M. Appel

I used to dream of true love; now I'm open to false, but convincing....

— Jacob M. Appel

Catholic extremism should be resisted as fiercely at home as we oppose the Taliban abroad.

— Jacob M. Appel

A free society, to be truly worthy of that name, owes healthy, competent individuals the right to end their lives on their…

— Jacob M. Appel

“An American man endowed with sufficient wealth can purchase anything, but an American woman endowed with sufficient beauty does not need to.”

— Jacob M. Appel

The only thing more difficult than persuading someone else to start having sex with you is persuading yourself to stop.

— Jacob M. Appel

This is how most stories end in the hospital. Not with crash carts and sirens and electric shocks to the chest, but…

— Jacob M. Appel

“Starshine’s greatest challenge is deciding whether a woman is too young to soothe or too old to shame. Handling the men is…

— Jacob M. Appel

Most people are far more concerned that they can control their own bodies than they are about petitioning Congress.

— Jacob M. Appel

If freedom means anything at all, it is the right to primacy in regard to sexuality, reproduction, medical care and death.

— Jacob M. Appel

The most dangerous ideas are not those that challenge the status quo. The most dangerous ideas are those so embedded in the…

— Jacob M. Appel

Nothing spices up one's sex life like having a partner.

— Jacob M. Appel