A talking dog is not the answer. That's not a way to convince people not to smoke pot. If animals started talking… — Doug Benson Copy Share Image
People come to me with ideas for shows, and I certainly am thinking of stuff all the time. And it's always like,… — Doug Benson Copy Share Image
There was always, along the way in my career, as more and more I made marijuana a part of my act and… — Doug Benson Copy Share Image
Tom Cruise shouldn't try to win Oscars. He should just smile and kick people in the face and leave the acting to… — Doug Benson Copy Share Image
The thing that still exists is that if it's at all possible for me to step outside the club after the show,… — Doug Benson Copy Share Image
I get a message from Stephen Falk saying, "Hey, if I wrote a part for you in You're The Worst, would you… — Doug Benson Copy Share Image
Since my act is a goofy reflection of what's going on in my life, I started doing pot jokes, and I noticed… — Doug Benson Copy Share Image
I started doing pot jokes, and I noticed that audiences invariably love pot jokes. Even people who don't smoke pot think it's… — Doug Benson Copy Share Image
Smoking pot makes people talk for long periods of time, for instance, so people who advocate pot won't shut the hell up… — Doug Benson Copy Share Image
I'm not physically harming any of these people by being high, and it's just interesting to see that I feel like my… — Doug Benson Copy Share Image
Obviously, you take the risk to step over the line any time you do something where comedians interact with each other. Like… — Doug Benson Copy Share Image
That's the interesting part of being a judge to me - I don't even care about these people's fights that they're having… — Doug Benson Copy Share Image
Smoking pot makes people talk for long periods of time, for instance, so people who advocate pot won't shut the hell up… — Doug Benson Copy Share Image
People say pot-smokers are lazy. I disagree; I'm a multitasking pot-smoker: just the other day I was walking down the street, I… — Doug Benson Copy Share Image
Pot advocates actually try to convince people who don't need or want medical marijuana to go get a card, because as those… — Doug Benson Copy Share Image
I grew up in San Diego, so it wasn't hard to move to L.A. to get into show business, but I did the standard… — Doug Benson Copy Share Image
It's easier to do comedy with an audience, because their reactions tell you whether or not what your saying qualifies as comedy. — Doug Benson Copy Share Image
The whole pot-to-alcohol thing is a huge issue with me, because I've grown to hate drunks so much, and like potheads. — Doug Benson Copy Share Image
I know there's a lot of nasty humor directed at celebrities, but my feeling is, in most cases, they deserve it. — Doug Benson Copy Share Image
Big deal... the only cats that don't have three legs are the ones with two through zero legs. — Doug Benson Copy Share Image
Has anybody here ever been driving along in their car, smoking a cigarette, and you flick it out the window, and you drive for… — Doug Benson Copy Share Image
A talking dog is not the answer. That's not a way to convince people not to smoke pot. If animals started talking to me,… — Doug Benson Copy Share Image
I think there is much more storytelling in stand-up now. Less emphasis on the joke. Jokes are still important, but it feels like a… — Doug Benson Copy Share Image
I just broke up with my girlfriend because I caught her lying. Under another man. — Doug Benson Copy Share Image
Stand-up is a very scary, very solitary profession, but you have to experience it to figure out if it's right for you. — Doug Benson Copy Share Image
People come to me with ideas for shows, and I certainly am thinking of stuff all the time. And it's always like, you know,… — Doug Benson Copy Share Image
