It was a dangerous profession I had chosen ... because no one likes a funny kid. In fact, adults are scared silly of them and tend to warn children who act out that they are going to wind up in… — Art Buchwald Copy Share Image
When I got to the hospice I was under the impression it would be a two- or three-week stay. But here I still am, six weeks later, and I've gotten so well Medicare won't pay for me anymore. — Art Buchwald Copy Share Image
Every time you think television has hit its lowest ebb, a new program comes along to make you wonder where you thought the ebb… — Art Buchwald Copy Share Image
I found out I'd spent my whole life believing things that weren't necessarily accurate. My sisters' memories of certain events are entirely different from… — Art Buchwald Copy Share Image
I can now say without hesitation the Marine Corps was the best foster home I ever had. — Art Buchwald Copy Share Image
Writers are funny about reviews: when they get a good one they ignore it-- but when they get a bad review they never forget… — Art Buchwald Copy Share Image
No one ever mentioned it, but thousands of men welcomed World War II as a way to escape their humdrum lives rather than a… — Art Buchwald Copy Share Image
Don't commit suicide, because you might change your mind two weeks later. — Art Buchwald Copy Share Image
When it came to writing about wine, I did what almost everybody does - faked it — Art Buchwald Copy Share Image
An economist is a man who knows a hundred ways of making love but doesn't know any women. — Art Buchwald Copy Share Image
