There is no such thing as a crazy dog person in New York. Are there people who are completely insane about their dogs? Hordes. But cat people may as well have whiskers and tails themselves. That's because their pets' lack… — Sloane Crosley Copy Share Image
I think a lot of humor is about distracting yourself. Pretend you're not trying to make it funny. Because for some reason the effort to be funny smells like sulphur in our culture. — Sloane Crosley Copy Share Image
“Names I am most commonly called by telemarketers: Simone, Slain, Siobhan, Flo, Stacey, Susan, Slater, Leanne, and Slow (Yes, my parents named me "Slow".… — Sloane Crosley Copy Share Image
“I’m not sure how the ponies happened, though I have an inkling: “Can I get you anything?” I’ll say, getting up from a dinner… — Sloane Crosley Copy Share Image
As most New Yorkers have done, I have given serious and generous thought to the state of my apartment should I get killed during… — Sloane Crosley Copy Share Image
“If I could just get my partner to see me how she used to - to fall in love with me all over again… — Sloane Crosley Copy Share Image
I don't really think of my essays as being about myself. I know it sounds insane, but I just don't think of them as… — Sloane Crosley Copy Share Image
It takes a level of creative depression to hear 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' and weep. — Sloane Crosley Copy Share Image
I wouldn't want to live in Berlin. It's bombed out and there's a lot of techno. — Sloane Crosley Copy Share Image
The reason that war is such a fascinating subject for writers is because it's a revealer. Put a bunch of people in an adrenaline-fuelled,… — Sloane Crosley Copy Share Image
“Shortly after this exchange my roommate suggested we start throwing water balloons at the construction workers. Not really at them because, I know, I… — Sloane Crosley Copy Share Image
When it seems impossible that a deep connection with another person could just go away instead of changing form. It seems impossible that you… — Sloane Crosley Copy Share Image
Because I am a horrible flincher, contact lenses are not an option. I'm always envious of contact-wearers. There are endless reasons to take off… — Sloane Crosley Copy Share Image
