“It’s a comforting thought knowing that no matter how old I get, I can always get older.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’m now solidly in my mid-thirties. I turned thirty, three days ago.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I tried being 29, and it worked for about a year, but finally I just had to get rid of it.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’m older today than yesterday, and therefore I must be more mature.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“When I was young, I was 13 going on 31. Then when I was 30 going on 31, I was 30 going… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’m older now than my dad was when he was my age. Wait, that’s not right. That’s not my dad at all,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I am an uncle, though this is not a new feeling for me, as I’ve been one before. I’ve also been 2… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“You’re already older than the last time I saw you, and I just saw you right before I blinked.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“When I turn thirty, in thirty days or so, I might be feeling old, so I’ll probably call my grandma up, because… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Most people live life backwards. They party and kill time in their youth, when they’re strong and have the energy to accomplish… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Orafoura once told me that if I were a car, I’d be a Ferrari. One that was scratched smashed, rusted, and stolen.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“What makes a good leader? I ask myself this every day, and then as I begin to list off characteristics I realize I’m describing… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“I’d like to file a missing person’s report—on my clone. It’s nearly 2012. He should have been here by now.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
