George Lopez has to get a physical comedy checkup every year to make sure his bulging eyes don't get out of control... Good news George... you are humor free! There's no sign of comedy anywhere in your blood stream. — Andy Kindler Copy Share Image
CNN has a thing called You Choose the News. Y'know what CNN? I'm turning you on because I don't know the news. I was hoping you could help me. — Andy Kindler Copy Share Image
I watched Anderson Cooper 360 for a year before I realized that the second hour was a repeat of the first. I just thought… — Andy Kindler Copy Share Image
Kevin James is going to do a couple of specials. One's called It's Getting Muggy In Here. — Andy Kindler Copy Share Image
There's a lot of controversy online, some people say i'm a genius and other say i'm hugely talented. — Andy Kindler Copy Share Image
Republicans are just rich, old, white people - that's all they are. You ever see the Republican National Convention? All white people - six… — Andy Kindler Copy Share Image
I don't think there's anything Craig Ferguson could say that would make me laugh. Ad-libbing is not the same as entertainment. — Andy Kindler Copy Share Image
Eddie Izzard is doing his show in French... Will he be able to fake ad-lib as well in other languages? He's been speaking French… — Andy Kindler Copy Share Image
If I don't believe in Jesus, maybe I don't believe in Hell. Did you ever think of that? You're so excited about it, why… — Andy Kindler Copy Share Image
The saddest day in Pixar history was when some guy said 'get Larry the Cable Guy on the phone. — Andy Kindler Copy Share Image
I don't know if it's the weather or what's going on - the summer or something like that - but recently I've been feeling… — Andy Kindler Copy Share Image
Once when Larry the Cable Guy was on Conan's show, Conan O'Brien was so offended by Larry's material, he had to walk away from… — Andy Kindler Copy Share Image
