Yes, I shot my wife because I thought she was Bigfoot, but I'm from New Jersey. — Paul Rudnick Copy Share Image
Whenever I stumble over my own feet, or blurt out a thought that makes no sense at all, or leave the house wearing one pattern too many, I always think, It's okay, I'm from New Jersey. I love New Jersey,… — Paul Rudnick Copy Share Image
“Rocher was on the floor, crawling on her stomach toward Jate's feet. "I love you...," she kept repeating, in a demonic whisper. "I have… — Paul Rudnick Copy Share Image
“Sometimes I think that we should send all of the Killer Mediums to Afghanistan because al-Qaeda wouldn’t stand a chance.” — Paul Rudnick Copy Share Image
“There was a cable-TV program that documented how Peeps are made, and it showed unlimited hordes of Peeps bouncing merrily down a conveyor belt,… — Paul Rudnick Copy Share Image
Because there’s a clock attached to every beautiful woman. From the second she comes into her own, she begins to decline, because she begins… — Paul Rudnick Copy Share Image
Yes, I shot my wife because I thought she was Bigfoot, but I'm from New Jersey. — Paul Rudnick Copy Share Image
There is only one blasphemy, and that is the refusal to experience joy. — Paul Rudnick Copy Share Image
I just hate that gay role models are supposed to be just like straight people, as if even straight people are like that. — Paul Rudnick Copy Share Image
I love [my parents], but what if I could really talk to them? I mean, what if they had some answers? Or would that… — Paul Rudnick Copy Share Image
“I can’t quite put my finger on it, but there’s something quite different about you, from the last time we were together, what could… — Paul Rudnick Copy Share Image
Most gay bashers will be wearing what gay people had on four years earlier - only in polyester with a Penney's label. — Paul Rudnick Copy Share Image
Writing is 90 percent procrastination: reading magazines, eating cereal out of the box, watching infomercials. — Paul Rudnick Copy Share Image
“Nightlife is not for sissies, except of course for career sissies; an evening out requires at least a full day of minute preparation. .… — Paul Rudnick Copy Share Image
As a writer, I need an enormous amount of time alone. Writing is 90 percent procrastination: reading magazines, eating cereal out of the box,… — Paul Rudnick Copy Share Image
Wait, we can not break bread with you. You have taken the land which is rightfully ours. Years from now my people will be… — Paul Rudnick Copy Share Image
I believe in a benevolent God not because He created the Grand Canyon or Michelangelo, but because He gave us snacks. — Paul Rudnick Copy Share Image
![“I love [my parents], but what if I could really talk to them? I mean, what if they had some answers? Or would that just be too weird?” quote by Paul Rudnick](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/6e6/paul-rudnick-17393_answers_i-love-my-parents-but-what-if-i-could-re_671603.jpg)
