A new club is like having a new girlfriend – you don't have feelings straight away — Michael Owen Copy Share Image
Everybody I've ever met was destroyed by a member of the opposite sex early on and that damage you took into every… — Christopher Titus Copy Share Image
My girlfriend is upset about her new haircut. I don't understand why she's crying. I'm the one who has to get a… — Anthony Jeselnik Copy Share Image
You can learn as much - or more - from one glance at a private space as you can from hours of… — Malcolm Gladwell Copy Share Image
She's gone. Been gone for ages. They split up right after you left. That's why the grass out front started growing again."… — Maureen Johnson Copy Share Image
Learn, he says, that there will be hours, days and months ahead of feeling absolutely terrible and nothing can change that; neither… — Charles Bukowski Copy Share Image
My girlfriend is named Lynn. She spells her name "Lynn". My old girlfriend's name is Lyn, too, but she spells it "Lyn".… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
Usually the beginning of a story that people hear a lot. For example, "My girlfriend is upset about her new haircut" or… — Anthony Jeselnik Copy Share Image
Otrera stayed dead the second time," Kinzie said, batting her eyes. "We have to thank you for that. If you ever need… — Rick Riordan Copy Share Image
Leaving America is like losing twenty pounds and finding a new girlfriend. — Phil Ochs Copy Share Image
Louie brought his new girlfriend over, and the nicest thing I can say about her is all her tattoos are spelled correctly. — Robert Harling Copy Share Image
Anyone who has ever scanned the bookshelves of a new girlfriend or boyfriend- or peeked inside his or her medicine cabinet- understands… — Malcolm Gladwell Copy Share Image
