My style can't be held within a pixel medium. Like, it needs to be performed in a living, breathing space. People need to have all their senses ready to take on my comedy, and unfortunately, TV alienates at least their… — Kristen Schaal Copy Share Image
In the U.K., there's absolutely no money for television. So you can do pretty much whatever you want. They're not losing money on any of the shows, so they'll give you a lot of creative freedom. In the United States,… — Kristen Schaal Copy Share Image
If you were to send a werewolf to the moon, would he be a werewolf permanently? — Kristen Schaal Copy Share Image
I used to go to open mics in New York when I was starting out, and it was mostly just people who wanted an… — Kristen Schaal Copy Share Image
I used to carry a rabbit's foot for luck. Then it was a monkey's paw. Now it's a camel's toe. — Kristen Schaal Copy Share Image
I don't enjoy reality television at all. I have to say that I get it, though. I watch some of it, and I understand… — Kristen Schaal Copy Share Image
I think I've always had a disconnect from what I'm supposed to be like. — Kristen Schaal Copy Share Image
If I'm having a fancy glass of champagne, I'll always mix it with the champagne of beers. Because I deserve all the champagnes. — Kristen Schaal Copy Share Image
Guys. If your pants are below your ass you have no right to accuse any lady of dressing slutty. — Kristen Schaal Copy Share Image
The first time I was on TV, on "Flight of the Conchords," someone put up a YouTube clip and said, 'You're too ugly to… — Kristen Schaal Copy Share Image
You go from nobody looking at you to people taking second looks. I remember really loving it - and then feeling so guilty for… — Kristen Schaal Copy Share Image
1st Valentine's Day: 200,000 BC men and women congregate on opposite sides of Pangaea, waiting for someone to make the first move. — Kristen Schaal Copy Share Image
