Sex when you're married is like going to the 7-Eleven: There's not much variety, but at three in the morning, it's always there. — Carol Leifer Copy Share Image
You know what kills me about Jennifer Lopez? The fact that this woman wakes up one day and she's like, 'You know what? From now on, I'd like people to call me J-Lo,' and then they do it. Only a… — Carol Leifer Copy Share Image
Stand-up comedy - I love this job, and I gotta tell you, folks - knock wood - it's been working. 'Cause I was one… — Carol Leifer Copy Share Image
My father was the kind of guy who'd always say 'Throw out any subject and I got a joke on it,' — Carol Leifer Copy Share Image
Long Island - if you're from out of town, how would I describe it? Well, every girl in my neighborhood looked like Kenny G. — Carol Leifer Copy Share Image
Women in the workplace - we still have big strides to make. Girlfriend of mine just got a new job. First question the new… — Carol Leifer Copy Share Image
Growing up, it was always, 'If you buy kosher meat, they're killed humanely.' But I've seen so many horrible videos. What we thought was… — Carol Leifer Copy Share Image
As a writer, the worst thing you can do is work in an environment of fear of rejection. — Carol Leifer Copy Share Image
I feel I've always got to keep my stand-up because I never want to lose it. — Carol Leifer Copy Share Image
Oh, this is fun - went to a nude beach for the first time. Yeah, that's what I thought. You ever been to a… — Carol Leifer Copy Share Image
You can never go wrong betting on Americans' bad eating habits. So I've made a ton investing in all fast food chains, while at… — Carol Leifer Copy Share Image
