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Men Quotes by Ambrose Bierce

70 Men quotes by Ambrose Bierce

All Men quotes Ambrose Bierce’s page

A clock is described as a moral tool that reminds us how much time we still have. The quotes also poke fun at everyday objects like oysters and wine, showing how civilization can turn simple things into strange lessons. They point out that what seems useful can be inexpedient in the long run.

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CONGRESS, n. A body of men who meet to repeal laws.

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Pun: A form of wit, to which wise men stoop and fools aspire

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A bad workman quarrels with the man who calls him that.

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Wine, madam, is God's next best gift to man.

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True, man does not know woman. But neither does woman.

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Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.

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A system of pitfalls thoughtfully prepared for the feet for the self-made man, along the path by which he advances to distinction.

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The Senate is a body of old men charged with high duties and misdemeanors.

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What a woman most admires in a man is distinction among men. What a man most admires in a woman is devotion…

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MOUTH, n. In man, the gateway to the soul; in woman, the outlet of the heart.

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The poor man's price of admittance to the favor of the rich is his self-respect.

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Women in love are less ashamed than men. They have less to be ashamed of.

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ZIGZAG, v.t. To move forward uncertainly, from side to side, as one carrying the white man's burden.

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FOLLY, n. That "gift and faculty divine" whose creative and controlling energy inspires Man's mind, guides his actions and adorns his life.

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The natural equipment to accomplish some small part of the meaner ambitions distinguishing able men from dead ones. In the last analysis…

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Men who expect universal peace through invention of destructive weapons of war are no wiser than one who, noting the improvement of…

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Male, A member of the unconsidered or negligible gender. The male of the human race is commonly known to the female as…

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INCOMPOSSIBLE, adj. Unable to exist if something else exists. Two things are incompossible when the world of being has scope enough for…

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Strive not for singularity in dress; Fools have the more and men of sense the less. To look original is not worth…

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TRUST, n. In American politics, a large corporation composed in greater part of thrifty working men, widows of small means, orphans in…

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WINE, n.Fermented grape-juice known to the Women's Christian Union as "liquor," sometimes as "rum." Wine, madam, is God's next best gift to…

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DEINOTHERIUM, n. An extinct pachyderm that flourished when the Pterodactyl was in fashion. The latter was a native of Ireland, its name…

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Certain old men prefer to rise at dawn, taking a cold bath and a long walk with an empty stomach and otherwise…

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Indigestion: A disease which the patient and his friends frequently mistake for deep religious conviction and concern for the salvation of mankind.…

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LAOCOON, n. A famous piece of antique scripture representing a priest of that name and his two sons in the folds of…

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BRAIN, n. An apparatus with which we think that we think. That which distinguishes the man who is content to be something…

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Immoral: Inexpedient. Whatever in the long run and with regard to the greater number of instances men find to be generally inexpedient…

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BIRTH, n. The first and direst of all disasters. As to the nature of it there appears to be no uniformity. Castor…

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One of the greatest of poets, Coleridge was one of the wisest of men, and it was not for nothing that he…

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We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with certain…

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Logic, n. The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding. The basic…

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ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.

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The circus a place where horses, ponies and elephants are permitted to see men, women and children acting the fool.

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MAN, n. An animal so lost in rapturous contemplation of what he thinks he is as to overlook what he indubitably ought…

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Contempt; the feeling of a prudent man for an enemy who is too formidable safely to be opposed.

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A man is the sum of his ancestors; to reform him you must begin with a dead ape and work downward through…

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CLERGYMAN, n. A man who undertakes the management of our spiritual affairs as a method of better his temporal ones.

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ELECTOR, n. One who enjoys the sacred privilege of voting for the man of another man's choice.

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CLOCK, n. A machine of great moral value to man, allaying his concern for the future by reminding him what a lot…

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CONSOLATION, n. The knowledge that a better man is more unfortunate than yourself.

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More by Ambrose Bierce

OBSESSED, p.p. Vexed by an evil spirit, like the Gadarene swine and other critics. Obsession was once more common than it is now. Arasthus…

DECIDE, v.i. To succumb to the preponderance of one set of influences over another set.

IMMORAL, adj. Inexpedient. Whatever in the long run and with regard to the greater number of instances men find to be generally inexpedient comes…

REVIEW, v.t. To set your wisdom (holding not a doubt of it./ Although in truth there's neither bone nor skin to it)/ At work…

CLOCK, n. A machine of great moral value to man, allaying his concern for the future by reminding him what a lot of time…

RUBBISH, n. Worthless matter, such as the religions, philosophies, literatures, arts and sciences of the tribes infesting the regions lying due south from Boreaplas.

There was never a genius who was not thought a fool until he disclosed himself; whereas he is a fool then only.

Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.

WHANGDEPOOTENAWAH, n. In the Ojibwa tongue, disaster; an unexpected affliction that strikes hard.

Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping.

RIDICULE, n. Words designed to show that the person of whom they are uttered is devoid of the dignity of character distinguishing him who…

Think twice before you speak to a friend in need

HERMIT, n. A person whose vices and follies are not sociable.

TARIFF, n. A scale of taxes on imports, designed to protect the domestic producer against the greed of his consumer.

A bad marriage is like an electrical thrilling machine: it makes you dance, but you can't let go.