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Religion Quotes by Ambrose Bierce

43 Religion quotes by Ambrose Bierce

All Religion quotes Ambrose Bierce’s page

Ambrose Bierce mocks religion as worthless matter and calls life a spiritual pickle that people fear losing. He defines infidels differently in New York and Constantinople. He also claims that persecution is logical and that tolerance is a form of infidelity.

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“IRRELIGION, n. The principal one of the great faiths of the world.”

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To Dogmatism the Spirit of Inquiry is the same as the Spirit of Evil.

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Irreligion - the principal one of the great faiths of the world.

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The god of the world's leading religion.

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An archbishop is an ecclesiastical dignitary one point holier than a bishop.

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ORTHODOX, n. An ox wearing the popular religious joke.

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Life - a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.

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The spiritual attitude of a man to a god and a dog to a man.

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What a woman most admires in a man is distinction among men. What a man most admires in a woman is devotion…

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Rome has seven sacraments, but the Protestant churches, being less prosperous, feel that they can afford only two, and these of inferior…

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Christian, n.: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his…

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NIRVANA- In the Buddhist religion, a state of pleasurable annihilation awarded to the wise, particularly to those wise enough to understand it.

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BATH, n. A kind of mystic ceremony substituted for religious worship, with what spiritual efficacy has not been determined.

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Nothing is more logical than persecution. Religious tolerance is a kind of infidelity.

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Religions are conclusions for which the facts of nature supply no major premises.

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“Mammon, n. The god of the world's leading religion. His chief temple is in the city of New York”

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PALACE, n. A fine and costly residence, particularly that of a great official. The residence of a high dignitary of the Christian…

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SACRED, adj. Dedicated to some religious purpose; having a divine character; inspiring solemn thoughts or emotions; as... the Cow in India; the…

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INADMISSIBLE- Not competent to be considered. Hearsay evidence is inadmissible ... but there is no religion in the world that has any…

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EUCHARIST, n. A sacred feast of the religious sect of Theophagi. A dispute once unhappily arose among the members of this sect…

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RUBBISH, n. Worthless matter, such as the religions, philosophies, literatures, arts and sciences of the tribes infesting the regions lying due south…

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Feast, n. A festival. A religious celebration usually signalized by gluttony and drunkenness, frequently in honor of some holy person distinguished for…

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Christian: One who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor.…

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The sum of religion, says Pythagoras, is to be like him thou worshipest. Had Pythagoras lived in our day he would have…

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OPTIMISM, n. The doctrine, or belief, that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly, everything good, especially the bad, and everything right…

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HOMILETICS, n. The science of adapting sermons to the spiritual needs, capacities and conditions of the congregation. So skilled the parson was…

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JOSS-STICKS- Small sticks burned by the Chinese in their pagan tomfoolery, in imitation of certain sacred rites of our holy religion.

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EXHORT, v.t. In religious affairs, to put the conscience of another upon the spit and roast it to a nut-brown discomfort.

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Scriptures - The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths…

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THEOSOPHY, n. An ancient faith having all the certitude of religion and all the mystery of science.

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LIFE, n. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay. We live in daily apprehension of its loss; yet when lost it…

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CLERGYMAN, n. A man who undertakes the management of our spiritual affairs as a method of better his temporal ones.

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MONSIGNOR- A high ecclesiastical title, of which the Founder of our religion overlooked the advantages.

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RITE, n. A religious or semi-religious ceremony fixed by law, precept or custom, with the essential oil of sincerity carefully squeezed out…

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HOMILETICS, n. The science of adapting sermons to the spiritual needs, capacities and conditions of the congregation.

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EVANGELIST, n. A bearer of good tidings, particularly (in a religious sense) such as assure us of our own salvation and the…

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Theology is a thing of unreason altogether, an edifice of assumptions and dreams, a superstructure without a substructure

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Christian - One who follows the teachings of Christ insofar as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin.

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Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.

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Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

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More by Ambrose Bierce

OBSESSED, p.p. Vexed by an evil spirit, like the Gadarene swine and other critics. Obsession was once more common than it is now. Arasthus…

DECIDE, v.i. To succumb to the preponderance of one set of influences over another set.

IMMORAL, adj. Inexpedient. Whatever in the long run and with regard to the greater number of instances men find to be generally inexpedient comes…

REVIEW, v.t. To set your wisdom (holding not a doubt of it./ Although in truth there's neither bone nor skin to it)/ At work…

CLOCK, n. A machine of great moral value to man, allaying his concern for the future by reminding him what a lot of time…

RUBBISH, n. Worthless matter, such as the religions, philosophies, literatures, arts and sciences of the tribes infesting the regions lying due south from Boreaplas.

There was never a genius who was not thought a fool until he disclosed himself; whereas he is a fool then only.

Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.

WHANGDEPOOTENAWAH, n. In the Ojibwa tongue, disaster; an unexpected affliction that strikes hard.

Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping.

RIDICULE, n. Words designed to show that the person of whom they are uttered is devoid of the dignity of character distinguishing him who…

Think twice before you speak to a friend in need

HERMIT, n. A person whose vices and follies are not sociable.

TARIFF, n. A scale of taxes on imports, designed to protect the domestic producer against the greed of his consumer.

A bad marriage is like an electrical thrilling machine: it makes you dance, but you can't let go.