“I have a question. What if your advice doesn't help me? Do I get my money back?" "No, because as soon as you pay me, I run right out and spend it. That's one of the first things they teach… — Charles M. Schulz Copy Share Image
Charlie Brown: "Life is just too much for me... I've been confused right from the day I was born... I think the whole trouble… — Charles M. Schulz Copy Share Image
Nobody likes me!" "I wish I could like you, Charlie Brown, but I can't... If I were to like you, it would be admitting that I was lowering my standards! You wouldn't want me to do that, would you? Be reasonable! I have standards that I have set up for liking people, and you just don't meet those standards! It… — Charles M. Schulz Copy Share
Today is my grandfather's birthday." "How old is he?" "Sixty-three. It's hard to believe he was once a human being. — Charles M. Schulz Copy Share Image
If I were a better artist, I'd be a painter, and if I were a better writer, I'd write books.. but I'm not, so… — Charles M. Schulz Copy Share Image
No one would have been invited to dinner so often as Jesus was unless he were interesting and had a sense of humor. — Charles M. Schulz Copy Share Image
I think I'll go over and introduce myself to that little red-haired girl. I think I'll introduce myself, and then ask her to come… — Charles M. Schulz Copy Share Image
I wonder if there's such a thing as a spiritual dentist? I think my whole personality is full of cavities! — Charles M. Schulz Copy Share Image
