I now have a new reason for living. It is my life's goal to make my girlfriend laugh so hard that she pees out of her nose! — Rock Cowles Copy Share Image
I wouldn't recommend investing a lot of time worrying about a guy who's plans for world domination involved chicken suits and making people laugh so hard that pee comes out of their noses, but when there is a guy who… — Rock Cowles Copy Share Image
I've never belonged to any group that didn't have at least one member who wasn't a total dick. — Rock Cowles Copy Share
No greater invention was ever devised for creating the delusion of productivity than the personal computer, except for religion. — Rock Cowles Copy Share
Banning guns, drugs, alcohol, premarital sex, political incorrectness, and gay marriage hasn't worked. We should ban Life. So long as even one of us… — Rock Cowles Copy Share
If it shuffles like a zombie, stinks like a zombie, and moans like a zombie, make sure it isn't your mom, then shoot it… — Rock Cowles Copy Share
How come nobody ever talks about getting the long end of the stick? How can you even tell which end is which? — Rock Cowles Copy Share
Music is the timeline of my life. It reminds me of where I have been, who I was with, what I was doing, and… — Rock Cowles Copy Share
Character matters most. It will outlast physical beauty, athleticism, intelligence, and since you can't take it with you, prosperity. — Rock Cowles Copy Share
I have no more fear of death than I do of going to sleep. I have no psychotic, PMSing, invisible tyrant in the sky… — Rock Cowles Copy Share
If you can't afford to give something away, you don't own it, it owns you. If you can't afford to sell it, its probably… — Rock Cowles Copy Share
There is more evidence to support the possibility that there could be a crack smoking Velociraptor in a pink tutu playing the ukelele in… — Rock Cowles Copy Share
