I met a new girl at a barbecue, very pretty, a blond I think. I don't know, her hair was on fire, and all she talked about was herself. You know these kind of girls: 'I'm hot. I'm on fire.… — Garry Shandling Copy Share Image
They should put expiration dates on clothing so we men will know when they go out of style. — Garry Shandling Copy Share Image
Yes, I'm a nice man and I enjoy babies. I'm a sensitive guy. I held a baby the other day and it was the… — Garry Shandling Copy Share Image
I keep my scrapbooks in the car. When I come to a stoplight, I start looking through my past. Sometimes I wish the red… — Garry Shandling Copy Share Image
I sold my house this week. I got a pretty good price for it, but it made my landlord mad as hell — Garry Shandling Copy Share Image
I think it's one of the main negative emotional ingredients that fuels show business, because there's so much at stake and the fear of… — Garry Shandling Copy Share Image
I play basketball on Sundays and I'm a very spiritual guy; I read a lot of Eastern philosophy and I meditate. — Garry Shandling Copy Share Image
Nice guys finish first. If you don't know that, then you don't know where the finish line is. — Garry Shandling Copy Share Image
I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes, but it was the night the clocks are set ahead. — Garry Shandling Copy Share Image
'The Larry Sanders Show,' it's actually about love, which would sound like a paradox at first. But if that love didn't exist, the darker… — Garry Shandling Copy Share Image
I am pretty tenacious as a perfectionist in terms of getting something right. — Garry Shandling Copy Share Image
I've never had anyone put on a puppet show to convince me of anything. And I've done a lot of stuff. I don't know… — Garry Shandling Copy Share Image
I'm very loyal in relationships. Even when I go out with my mom I don't look at other moms. — Garry Shandling Copy Share Image
