HYDRA, n. A kind of animal that the ancients catalogued under many heads. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
RECREATION, n. A particular kind of dejection to relieve a general fatigue. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
ENTERTAINMENT, n. Any kind of amusement whose inroads stop short of death by injection. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
BAIT, n. A preparation that renders the hook more palatable. The best kind is beauty. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Barometer, n.: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Nothing is more logical than persecution. Religious tolerance is a kind of infidelity. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
ARSENIC, n. A kind of cosmetic greatly affected by the ladies, whom it greatly affects in turn. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
ELEGY, n. A composition in verse, in which, without employing any of the methods of humor, the writer aims to produce in… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
IGNORAMUS, n. A person unacquainted with certain kinds of knowledge familiar to yourself, and having certain other kinds that you know nothing… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Boundary, n. In political geography, an imaginary line between two nations, separating the imaginary rights of one from the imaginary rights of… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
SATIRE, n. An obsolete kind of literary composition in which the vices and follies of the author's enemies were expounded with imperfect… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Learning -the kind of ignorance affected by (and affecting) civilized races, as distinguished from ignorance, the sort of learning incurred by savages.… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Dog - a kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the world's worship. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
BATH, n. A kind of mystic ceremony substituted for religious worship, with what spiritual efficacy has not been determined. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
BLANK-VERSE, n. Unrhymed iambic pentameters - the most difficult kind of English verse to write acceptably; a kind, therefore, much affected by… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Dance, v.i. To leap about to the sound of tittering music, preferably with arms about your neighbor's wife or daughter. There are… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
CALAMITY, n. A more than commonly plain and unmistakable reminder that the affairs of this life are not of our own ordering.… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
PERORATION, n. The explosion of an oratorical rocket. It dazzles, but to an observer having the wrong kind of nose its most… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
PALM, n. A species of tree . . . of which the familiar "itching palm" ("Palma hominis") is most widely distributed .… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
LOGOMACHY, n. A war in which the weapons are words and the wounds punctures in the swim-bladder of self-esteem - a kind… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
URBANITY, n. The kind of civility that urban observers ascribe to dwellers in all cities but New York. Its commonest expression is… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
NOTORIETY, n. The fame of one's competitor for public honors. The kind of renown most accessible and acceptable to mediocrity. A Jacob's-ladder… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
SEINE, n. A kind of net for effecting an involuntary change of environment. For fish it is made strong and coarse, but… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
COMMERCE, n. A kind of transaction in which A plunders from B the goods of C, and for compensation B picks the… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
IMBECILITY, n. A kind of divine inspiration, or sacred fire affecting censorious critics of this dictionary. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
LINEN, n. "A kind of cloth the making of which, when made of hemp, entails a great waste of hemp." — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
SARCOPHAGUS, n. Among the Greeks a coffin which being made of a certain kind of carnivorous stone, had the peculiar property of… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
KISS, n. A word invented by the poets as a rhyme for "bliss." It is supposed to signify, in a general way,… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Homicide, /n./ The slaying of one human by another. There are four kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy, but it… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
OBSESSED, p.p. Vexed by an evil spirit, like the Gadarene swine and other critics. Obsession was once more common than it is now. Arasthus… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share
DECIDE, v.i. To succumb to the preponderance of one set of influences over another set. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share
IMMORAL, adj. Inexpedient. Whatever in the long run and with regard to the greater number of instances men find to be generally inexpedient comes… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share
REVIEW, v.t. To set your wisdom (holding not a doubt of it./ Although in truth there's neither bone nor skin to it)/ At work… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share
CLOCK, n. A machine of great moral value to man, allaying his concern for the future by reminding him what a lot of time… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share
RUBBISH, n. Worthless matter, such as the religions, philosophies, literatures, arts and sciences of the tribes infesting the regions lying due south from Boreaplas. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share
There was never a genius who was not thought a fool until he disclosed himself; whereas he is a fool then only. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share
Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share
WHANGDEPOOTENAWAH, n. In the Ojibwa tongue, disaster; an unexpected affliction that strikes hard. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share
Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share
RIDICULE, n. Words designed to show that the person of whom they are uttered is devoid of the dignity of character distinguishing him who… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share
TARIFF, n. A scale of taxes on imports, designed to protect the domestic producer against the greed of his consumer. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share
A bad marriage is like an electrical thrilling machine: it makes you dance, but you can't let go. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share
