I was always the funny guy. Everyone wants to hang out with the funny guy. — Brad Williams Funny Copy Share Image
That is the most confusing and insane thing to me, when people get offended on behalf of another group. — Brad Williams Behalf Copy Share Image
I'm such a damn workaholic, that it's interesting to be like, "Oh, what do I do for fun?" — Brad Williams Damn Copy Share Image
I was a disabled child. So, people made fun of me, don't pretend like this never happens. But at the same time,… — Brad Williams Children Copy Share Image
The vast majority of people that have gotten mad at me for a joke that I've made were people that were, A,… — Brad Williams First place Copy Share Image
Most of the times to be honest with you, I get sexually harassed certainly more than I do to females, because... they… — Brad Williams Being honest Copy Share Image
I just don't get if you have ever gotten offended by a joke, why would you go to a comedy club? That's… — Brad Williams Clubs Copy Share Image
When a soldier of the night's watch dies they say, "And now his watch is over." That's what they say when a… — Brad Williams Comedian Copy Share Image
There are plenty of wonderful, good fat people in the USA that have no problems being fat, who I have no problems… — Brad Williams Being fat Copy Share Image
I want to go to Australia so bad, do comedy there, and see the people there. It's a great country. I have… — Brad Williams Australia Copy Share Image
There are things that I won't joke about, but it's not because I don't think they're funny or they can't be made… — Brad Williams Comedy Copy Share Image
Freedom of speech does not mean that you have to agree with everything that a comedian says, but that comedian should have… — Brad Williams Able Copy Share Image
Just imagine in 20 years, when candidates will have grown up with social media their entire lives. We're going to have a… — Brad Williams Candidates Copy Share Image
I don't know why you'd go to a comedian and say, "You know what? You have a large menu of items, but… — Brad Williams Cease Copy Share Image
I don't know anything about you, so when you randomly come up and grab my ass, this isn't a friend doing it.… — Brad Williams Ass Copy Share Image
I don't get to the global issues or anything like that. I am just trying to be silly. — Brad Williams Being silly Copy Share Image
It's very confusing to me why people take comedians so seriously. — Brad Williams Comedian Copy Share Image
I'm not going to talk too much politics because I'm not smart enough to do that. — Brad Williams Enough Copy Share Image
It takes a surprisingly large amount of intelligence to be a professional idiot. — Brad Williams Amount Copy Share Image
I would love, obviously, just to keep doing stand-up. That's the constant. That's the thing that I'm going to do for the… — Brad Williams Constant Copy Share Image
Women feel safe with me. Because a woman with me knows that she can stop the situation from advancing to a point… — Brad Williams Advancing Copy Share Image
Yeah, people do need to realize that just because they've seen me perform for an hour does not mean that we are… — Brad Williams Doe Copy Share Image
I hate that when people are like, "Well, all dwarves know each other, right?" And you want to get mad, but you… — Brad Williams Dwarves Copy Share Image
Now, I've gotten to the point in my career, I'm 13 years in, to where I know that I'm funny. I know… — Brad Williams Careers Copy Share Image
I don't know how to write jokes from the point of view of a six-foot-two guy. So, I'll always talk about it,… — Brad Williams Absolutes Copy Share Image
People ask me a lot like, "Hey, so when are you done with your tour?" Like when I die. That's when I'm… — Brad Williams Ask me Copy Share Image
If you got a hit every third time that you went up to bat in the major leagues, you'd be the greatest… — Brad Williams All time Copy Share Image
I like to talk about very different topics. I like to jump around a lot because I don't want people to come… — Brad Williams Curious Copy Share Image
I try not to be mean for the sake of being mean, and if I do do a joke or a tweet… — Brad Williams Agree Copy Share Image
I'm in awe of comedians that do things that I can't do, whether it be a one-liner comic like Anthony Jeselnik, whether… — Brad Williams Awe Copy Share Image
If I make a joke about black people or Asian people or whatever, and then an Asian comes up to me afterwards… — Brad Williams Asian Copy Share Image
