Job interview: Please tell us why youd love to work for us? ME: I need money :) — Punkinhead Abhishek Copy Share Image
This is a wonderful joke to play upon a prisoner, to promise forgiveness. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My best tweets are when someone take them personnel & instantly unfollow me. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried...but they wanted cash. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“One of the leading causes of obesity is the misbelief that, when it comes to juice, ‘100%’ means ‘sugar-free.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
Hey everybody on Twitter, I think we can cool it with all the jokes. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
[The people that worked on The Simpsons] just had good taste. They knew how to execute absurd jokes. — Eric Andre Copy Share Image
Im not saying I hate ya but if u happen to get hit by a bus, I wouldn't say I might not… — Kevin McCarty Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you last night... we tried to joke but neither could make any sense. We realized that puns… — Marshall Ramsay Copy Share Image
Personally, I hope he doesn't get out of the campaign. I need Rick Perry. I don't want to spend the next year… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
You can't always be 100-percent positive that a joke will work, so you've just got to try it. Fortunately, if one new… — Doug Benson Copy Share Image
When you've been doing comedy for forty years, you really do know most of the jokes. And even if you don't know… — John Cleese Copy Share Image
When you're going for a joke, you're stuck out there if it doesn't work. There's nowhere to go. You've done the drum… — Bob Newhart Copy Share Image
You know, Aunt Tasha makes jokes about how youʹd actually be a better queen than the others, except sometimes . . .… — Richelle Mead Copy Share Image
The best thing that can happen to a couple married for fifty years or more is that they both grow nearsighted together. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A dog doesn't care if you're rich or poor, big or small, young or old. He doesn't care if you're not smart,… — Louis Sabin Copy Share Image
Math-thinking, I would say, encourages flipping and substituting letters in words (in the novel, one of the boys double-majors in math and… — Mary Kay Zuravleff Copy Share Image
Yes, yes, I know all the jokes. What else could I have expected at Highbury? But I went to Chelsea and to… — Nick Hornby Copy Share Image
One of Still Lifes many achievements is its paradoxical mix of intensity and stillness. Alexander Longs visions of landscape, identity and "History… — Terrance Hayes Copy Share Image
Your friends are at the house.' I sit up, straight. 'Who'? 'I don't know. Weird people. The Sullivan girl, whose father got… — Melina Marchetta Copy Share Image
It will startle you to see what slaves we are to by-gone times-to Death, if we give the matter the right word!… — Nathaniel Hawthorne Copy Share Image
Every single member is so precious to me and like family to me.. I may joke around with them a lot but… — Kim Hyo-yeon Copy Share Image
When I was very young and first worked in Hollywood, the films had bred in me one sole ambition: to get away… — Anita Loos Copy Share Image
![“[The people that worked on The Simpsons] just had good taste. They knew how to execute absurd jokes.” quote by Eric Andre](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/637/eric-andre-11985_absurd_the-people-that-worked-on-the-simpsons-j_1276914.jpg)
