I can never tell a joke, I've always found it easier to just fall over. — Norman Wisdom Copy Share Image
Were it not for my little jokes, I could not bear the burdens of this office. — Abraham Lincoln Copy Share Image
I'm not offended by dumb blonde jokes because I know that I'm not dumb. I also know I'm not blonde. — Dolly Parton Copy Share Image
I made some jokes about weed, got some laughs, made some more jokes, got some more laughs; next thing you know, I'm… — Doug Benson Copy Share Image
Twitter is just a great joke laboratory. You go in there and there are so many witty people that I know any… — Michael Kupperman Copy Share Image
If you recall childhood, you may remember that the kids who stuck straws and cigarettes up their noses back then seemed funnier… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My mom was a little weird. When I was little she would make chocolate frosting. And she'd let me lick the beaters.… — Marty Cohen Copy Share Image
They always prided themselves on looking youthful. “Forty’s the new thirty,” they’d joke. Until heartbreak and grief enter your life, and then… — Melina Marchetta Copy Share Image
I actually got a part in 'The Love Guru', that Mike Myers film. I heard it's awful. I got a Razzie award… — Daniel Tosh Copy Share Image
Candidates should be extremely cautious in displaying a sense of humor. If he or she tells a joke with a point, there… — Jack Germond Copy Share Image
Lully's machine, Mill's fear and Lasswitz's chaotic library can be the subject of jokes, but they exaggerate a propensity which is common:… — Jorge Luis Borges Copy Share Image
The funny thing is, when I've gone through the relentless editing process, my editor and I are amazed the Mercy Watson books… — Kate DiCamillo Copy Share Image
Oh, man," Xavier groaned. "See what you've done--now I'm stressing." "You can't! You're the stable one!" Xavier laughed and I realized his… — Alexandra Adornetto Copy Share Image
Why do we need schools? Music: we have UTube. Spanish:there's Dora. English: everything's shortened anyway(lol,idk,gtg) Maths: that's why w have calculators. Geography:… — Simi Ngr Copy Share Image
Each thing I do, I rush through so I can do something else. In such a way do the days pass---a blend… — Stephen Dobyns Copy Share Image
“New Rule: Getting up close and personal with sharks doesn't make you a wildlife enthusiast--it makes you dinner. An Austrian tourist wanted… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I think people need to laugh everyday. Whether the economy is good or bad, I think the most important thing is to… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
People are in denial all the time, hiding things. If I tell you a racist or dirty joke and you laugh, you're… — Martin Landau Copy Share Image
When you're on stage performing stand-up, things only happen one time. I've done bits where I improv a joke, and people are… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
