You know, you can really get wet playing games in that new Pentium-VI dishwasher. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I'd be a great mattress salesman coz I love removing pants for no reason and spending all day looking at porn. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I do like a well-written sketch with a bunch of jokes in it, and I like stand-up with good jokes in it… — Lenny Henry Copy Share Image
Visual supervision is a joke for development workers. Visual supervision is for prisoners. — Tom DeMarco Copy Share Image
I been listening to Rick Ross and all the guy raps about is cars he can't even fit in.. WTF — Kevin McCarty Copy Share Image
I once made love to a female clown, and she twisted my penis into a poodle. — Dan Whitney Copy Share Image
“You need to be greedy or ignorant to truly want to live forever.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you feed a stray cat, and I learned that it was good to be… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You write the script, and then you just go over it 400 times and make all the jokes better. It really is… — Dana Gould Copy Share Image
No one is more himself than the moment when he's laughing at a joke. It's at those moments that people's defenses go… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
It's crazy because people expect you to be funny all the time and every day is not a funny day. I go… — Chris Tucker Copy Share Image
Oh, something is there, waiting for me. Perhaps someday the revelation will burst in upon me and I will see the other… — Sylvia Plath Copy Share Image
My father taught me to work; he did not teach me to love it. I never did like to work, and I… — Abraham Lincoln Copy Share Image
A good fart joke makes me bawl with laughter, so will somebody farting. And the word 'poo.' You can't beat a good… — Jenny Eclair Copy Share Image
I love New Zealand. Every time I'm in New Zealand someone makes a joke about it being mostly sheep, which I think… — Patrick Stump Copy Share Image
When I'm traveling a lot the flight attendants will ask what I do and if I say I'm a magician then I… — Justin Willman Copy Share Image
Tis no extravagant arithmetic to say, that for every ten jokes, thou hast got an hundred enemies; and till thou hast gone… — Laurence Sterne Copy Share Image
Teacher : How Old are You ? Student : Check the Register .. Teacher : wer r u frm ? Student :… — Reynold Copy Share Image
Nefarious. This is what we get when we hire a Yale boy.” “You missed sacrosanct earlier. And taciturn and glowering,” Jack said.… — Julie James Copy Share Image
In the most basic terms it was about how when we experience art without critical awareness we consent to the ideas being… — Simon Pegg Copy Share Image
I think the essence of humor has not changed. It's all about surprise, facilitating follows. But the context of humor has changed.… — Bette Midler Copy Share Image
Every day I do one or two podcasts that 92 percent of people never will hear. I'm constantly producing, constantly making jokes… — Kurt Braunohler Copy Share Image
I think it's worth trying to be a mother who delights in who her children are, in their knock-knock jokes and earnest… — Ayelet Waldman Copy Share Image
