I've never revved my car at a light for an attractive woman or an auto-rival, not even as a joke. — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
“They all laughed when I said I'd become a comedian. Well, they're not laughing now.” — Bob Monkhouse Copy Share Image
I cannot tell a joke. But I can do a situation, that it becomes a joke. — Don Rickles Copy Share Image
If climbing the highest mountain on earth is the only way for him to be mine.. then I'd rather go shopping! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“The right honorable gentleman is indebted to his memory for his jests, and to his imagination for his facts.” — Richard Brinsley Sheridan Copy Share Image
We're not going to have a wall [on Southern border] like now which is either non-existent or a joke. — Donald Trump Copy Share Image
If you want anything done well, do it yourself. This is why most people laugh at their own jokes. — Bob Edwards Copy Share Image
I don't like people doing jokes about disabled people for no good reason, but I can still understand why they do them. — Richard Herring Copy Share Image
Etgar means "challenge." And my family name is Keret, which means "urban." So my name is "urban challenge." My joke is, it's… — Etgar Keret Copy Share Image
Boss: Where were you born? Sardarji: India .. Boss: which part? Sardarji: What 'which part'? Whole body was born in India . — ZhatsPrincess Copy Share Image
I had written for Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman in the past. Jimmy had a different voice, and different priorities. He couldnt… — Anthony Jeselnik Copy Share Image
Think your little jokes'll help you on your deathbed?" she jeered. "Jokes? No,no, these are manners," replied Dumbledore. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Everything starts with writing. And then to support your vision, your ideas, your philosophy, your jokes, whatever, you've gotta perform them and/or… — Mel Brooks Copy Share Image
And keep a sense of humor. It doesn't mean you have to tell jokes. If you can't think of anything else, when… — Art Linkletter Copy Share Image
Counting down till Halloween so I can scare the little kids that knock at my door with my ultimate Saw mask for… — Mariana Copy Share Image
What I don't understand is these people who go on the street wearing riding clothes, and they have never been on a… — C. Z. Guest Copy Share Image
Kuwait - they live like kings. The poorest person in Kuwait, they live like kings. And yet, they're not paying. America makes… — Donald Trump Copy Share Image
I always put these pert jackanapeses out of countenance by looking extremely grave when they expect that I should laugh at their… — Lord Chesterfield Copy Share Image
Robin Williams is great; it's just like having a conversation when you're doing a scene with him really. It's just so relaxed… — Freddie Highmore Copy Share Image
2 snakes on FB chat: snake1: fusss snake 2 :fusss . snake1: fusss fusss fusss snake2:fussss fusss fusss . snake1: fussss fusss… — Prateek Jain Copy Share Image
If I just do everything the opposite of what my dad did, I think that will make things pretty easy. I can… — Derrick Rose Copy Share Image
In stand up every joke is thought about so meticulously, and one word can completely change how the audience responds. You're up… — Ari Graynor Copy Share Image
My parents took me to that I think is just one of those near-perfect comedies is Young Frankenstein. Gene Wilder and Mel… — Doug Benson Copy Share Image
![“We're not going to have a wall [on Southern border] like now which is either non-existent or a joke.” quote by Donald Trump](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e98/donald-trump-18_borders_we-re-not-going-to-have-a-wall-on-southe_1987003.jpg)
