Joke Quotes · Page 45

A joke, even if it be a lame one, is nowhere so keenly relished or quickly applauded as in a murder trial.

— Mark Twain

The critics had an image of me, and they wouldn't accept any other.. I was a cartoon character. A joke.

— Ann-Margret

“I ought to be jealous of the tower. She is more famous than I am.”

— Gustave Eiffel

Lacroix has been fantastic. He's very nice. He gets the joke, and I think that's a good thing.

— Jennifer Saunders

A woman would pitch a joke. Nothing. Then a guy would pitch it and everybody would laugh.

— Wanda Sykes

I did the commencement speech at UNH in 2006, and one of the biggest jokes was a 'Guts' joke.

— Mike O'Malley

Sometimes a joke that's not working is just as hilarious as one that does.

— Deon Cole

If a joke makes our tribe laugh, we assume it will make other friend-tribes laugh.

— Jay Chandrasekhar

Dan Brown and the 'Da Vinci Code' have been around well over a decade now, and to be perfectly honest, both he…

— Michelle Dean

I heard a guy tell me he liked cherries. I waited to hear if he was going to say "tomatoes", then I…

— Mitch Hedberg

I talk quite a lot in the changing room, try and joke around, keep the energy going, try to lift guys if…

— Moeen Ali

It's OK to joke about yourself and have self-perspective, but, like, when you constantly put yourself down to get other people to…

— Tove Lo

If the front-page news is a comedian doing a joke that people think is naughty, that proves there's no real news that…

— Russell Howard

It sometimes seemed to him that for love to work, it had to be fair, that he should tell only half the…

— Tao Lin

It's a bit embarrassing for a company to be exposed for wrongdoing, but it's really embarrassing if it's done by making them…

— Joe Lycett

I love how people takes jokes seriously…like damn its a fucking joke get over it...its not my fault that I'm the best...if…

— DevilgirlLovesU

You know, when I was a kid, I used to cry every day, like, when I was like, you know, 7 through…

— Neal Brennan

“IN AN OLD YUGOSLAV JOKE mocking police corruption, a policeman returns home unexpectedly and finds his wife naked in their marital bed,…

— Slavoj Žižek

That name was a kind of joke, and not a very good one. An author, Leon Lederman, wanted to call it 'that…

— Peter Higgs

If I'm caught off guard or I'm not in a great mood, or if I'm feeling down or if I'm in my…

— Tig Notaro

In 2005, the Iraq war was entering its third year and no one believed that we were going to find WMDs any…

— Jesse Armstrong

I grew up, as I joke around, in the 'People's Republic of Charlestown' in the city of Boston. And I was blessed…

— Jonathan Tucker

My whole life has always been football and that only. Since I was six years old, I've only really thought about football.…

— Gabriel Jesus

What makes art in general, and literature in particular, remarkable, what distinguishes them from life, is precisely that they abhor repetition. In…

— Joseph Brodsky

On my adventurers into the porn world, I noticed there's one thing that doesn't exist. Asian men.

— Daniel Ellis

I go inside the Octagon for fight. I don't joke, because it's danger.

— Anderson Silva

“How many pessimists does it take to change a lightbulb? Never mind. Nobody would get the joke anyway.”

— Garrison Keillor

The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him.

— Anonymous

If you joke about suicide, you insult those who are connected to someone who has taken their life. Grow up and be…

— Anonymous

Not laughing at a joke because you don't like the person who told it.

— Anonymous

I love people who have a good sense of humor, tell a good story, tell a good joke.

— Jason Statham

“It does not mat­ter. The joke is we all have the same punch line.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

Michael Jackson was a joker to his core. He loved a good joke especially if it's displayed on somebody else.

— Siedah Garrett

I joke about it a lot, but I be serious as a heart attack when I say it: I don't wish that…

— Iman Shumpert

I thought Twitter was a joke. I really thought it was a gag. I thought it was like National Lampoon or the…

— Walter Becker

I was world champion, but I was never able to celebrate it. It was a joke for me.

— Caster Semenya

I get just as much of a thrill out of constructing a good sentence that gets a laugh at the end as…

— Julian Clary

You can't practice stand-up alone in your room. You can't find out if a joke works by asking two of your friends.

— Taylor Tomlinson

People don't buy a new detergent because the manufacturer told a joke on television last night.

— David Ogilvy

The Pakistan Cricket Board is a long-standing joke, its chairmen replaced with every change of government.

— Tariq Ali