“She never laughs or smiles or tells a joke. She reminds me of a robot caked in meat.” — Matthew Quick Copy Share Image
The Awkward moment when teacher expects you to laugh at her stupid joke. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“The relations of a joker to his joke should be as quick and desultory as those of a bee to its flowers.” — William Somerset Maugham Copy Share Image
I always joke around and say my lifestyle is kind of like James Bond. — Bruce Buffer Copy Share Image
You might like it as a joke or because you liked it then, but there isn't a whole new generation discovering Wham!. — Rob Zombie Copy Share Image
We need more intellect and humor back on television, instead of the lowest common denominator of comedy - like the fart joke! — Eddie Griffin Copy Share Image
I have a teenage daughter and a 10-year-old daughter. Things are pink and fluffy at my house, with two little dogs. It's… — Duff McKagan Copy Share Image
I always thought security was a joke at New York airports, and in U.S. airports to begin with. You can go through… — Richard Drew Copy Share Image
I learned a long time ago from when I did 'Seinfeld' never to take anything seriously, and to be part of the… — Marlee Matlin Copy Share Image
“It's funny that when the one person you live for is ripped out of your life you can still find a way… — Cassia Leo Copy Share Image
“It started out as kind of a joke, and then it wasn't funny anymore because money became involved. Deep down, nothing about… — Charles Willeford Copy Share Image
I'm not as serious of a person as people make me out to be. Most people would think that I would be… — T.I Copy Share Image
I joke that I came out of my mother with chopsticks in my hands. But one of my earliest memories is of… — Gok Wan Copy Share Image
“Good Lord, what’s in here? A dead body?” “Ha! Don’t be ridiculous! What an outlandish joke to make! Ha!” Mr. Kent said… — Tarun Shanker Copy Share Image
I want someone that I can have fun with and laugh with. I love to laugh, and I'm really sarcastic, so it's… — Matt Lanter Copy Share Image
You know that old joke about the guy who lives to be 104? The punch line goes something like 'If I knew… — Oprah Winfrey Copy Share Image
I asked a thief to steal me a peach: He turned up his eyes. I asked a lithe lady to lie her… — William Blake Copy Share Image
When the time is right I have a laugh and a joke with my friends on a day off, but I have… — Raheem Sterling Copy Share Image
“I didn't pretend to know Eli at all, but even so, I'd noticed that his manner was slightly hard to read. It… — Sarah Dessen Copy Share Image
“Have a joke for me Tania," he says, "I could use a joke." "Hmm." She thinks, looks at him, looks to see… — Paullina Simons Copy Share Image
I think the big spin we were able to put on it was most hidden camera shows, the people that don't know… — Brian Quinn Copy Share Image
“Where’s new-Jay?” Jules asked, and then she and Chelsea exchanged a look and started cracking up at their own joke. Even Claire,… — Kimberly Derting Copy Share Image
I'll do a joke on purpose that really doesn't work just to show that that's funny. — Deon Cole Copy Share Image
There is only so many times you can say, 'Trump tweeted something that was bad.' That is not a joke to me. — Michelle Wolf Copy Share Image
When I'm up on stage and do a joke, half the people interpret it one way and half of them interpret it… — Maria Bamford Copy Share Image
If you are cracking a joke on me and in counter cannot take a joke when I am cracking on you, then,… — Kiku Sharda Copy Share Image
“If a black black cat crosses your path, it suggests that the animal is going somewhere.” — M.K. Bhutta Copy Share Image
“Joke: What did the little firefly say to his friends when they played hide-and-seek? "Ready or not, here I glow!” — Heather Wolf Copy Share Image
If you work at comedy too laboriously, you can kill what's funny in the joke. — Richard Russo Copy Share Image
You can read Kant by yourself, if you wanted to; but you must share a joke with someone else. — Robert Louis Stevenson Copy Share Image
I have a lot of funny friends, and we joke a lot, but I've never really played comedic parts. — Joel Kinnaman Copy Share Image
Guy: Wanna hear a joke about my d*ck? Nvm its too long. Girl: Wanna hear a joke about my p*ssy? Nvm you… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Wife: Sweetheart, I'm pregnant! Oh my God, what would you want it to be? Husband: A joke. 1 Jul — Anonymous Copy Share Image
To ease the pain, you have to learn to use what cost your a pain and turn it to a joke that… — Simphiwe Ntuli Copy Share Image
Poetry is like making a joke. If you get one word wrong at the end of a joke, you've lost the whole… — W. S. Merwin Copy Share Image
The youngest child in any family is always a jokemaker, because a joke is the only way he can enter into an… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
Half the battle is that people have to like you before you say one joke, one bit of humor. — Don Rickles Copy Share Image
