My father was the kind of guy who'd always say 'Throw out any subject and I got a joke on it,' — Carol Leifer Copy Share Image
I love doing six versions of any joke, so if they'll give me six takes, I'd love to do it. — Ryan Reynolds Copy Share Image
Make up looks pretty on the outside but it doesnt help if you are ugly on the inside. Unless you can eat… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Divorce is no joke and is painful for whatever reason it breaks down. — Sonja Morgan Copy Share Image
That awkward moment, when your the only one still laughing at the joke from 10 minutes ago. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The casting directors that were aware of The Real World looked at me as a joke. It was so hard to get… — Jamie Chung Copy Share Image
If I can't joke about imminent death, then I might as well just resign. — James A. Owen Copy Share Image
My mother tells this joke about how when I was little I used to say, 'Mummy, all I want is a stable… — Sophie Dahl Copy Share Image
That's the thing about comedy, there's something utterly delightful and slightly pure about a really good joke, and to create one is… — Sean Lock Copy Share Image
My joke is that my father was a minister and my mother was an English teacher, so I'm trained to see the… — Libba Bray Copy Share Image
The Danes don't take themselves seriously at all and look for the joke in everything. Us Scots are on the same line… — Jamie Sives Copy Share Image
“It’s funny how when it’s somebody else telling the story it’s easy to see that He can’t take a joke is just… — Melissa DeCarlo Copy Share Image
Boy:Hey wanna hear a joke about my penis? Nevermind its too long... :P Girl:Hey, wanna hear a joke about my vagina? Oh… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I can't write a joke. I could never write. I do a lot of stories and I call them stories, but they're… — Ron Shock Copy Share Image
Some people don't seem to be able to distinguish between humour and what you really feel. They forget that there's a difference… — Limmy Copy Share Image
If God gives you (or makes you) a joke, what are you meant to do in response? (Receive it. Laugh.) If God… — N.D. Wilson Copy Share Image
I think the thrust of any child is to try to fit in and be part of it. And I can't tell… — Howie Mandel Copy Share Image
I never really feel like just standing there and telling jokes. I want to move around. In fact, it's hard for me… — Chris D'Elia Copy Share Image
I was writing this really long joke about the smell of poop, and I was like, 'What am I doing with my… — Kurt Braunohler Copy Share Image
If you want to devote yourself to the arts, you'd better do it strictly from passion, because there is zero guarantee that… — Richard Lewis Copy Share Image
I gave my father a heart attack. It was a practical joke. Come on, you push a guy's face in a cake… — Christopher Titus Copy Share Image
“..., and sometimes there's just no point in arguing with him. "Yeah, okay 'me, Jeff, and Evan, sitting in a tree...'" Chris… — Kate Sherwood Copy Share Image
The only people who live in a post-black world are four people who live in a little white house on Pennsylvania Avenue.… — Henry Louis Gates Copy Share Image
