It's easier not to make a particular joke in case it offends. But every joke will offend someone, and I've always believed… — David Walliams Copy Share Image
I did so many open mics. I would write jokes on Twitter constantly, and then slowly, over time, open mics turned into… — Michelle Wolf Copy Share Image
Sometimes I know a joke I'm going to yell out ahead of time, but most of the time it's stream of conscious.… — Adam McKay Copy Share Image
There's a joke that I do where I make fun of myself for being bow-legged, and I compare myself to a camel… — Anjelah Johnson Copy Share Image
I think, in a film that's supposed to last an hour and a half, I think you have to really pay attention… — Jay Chandrasekhar Copy Share Image
Women always think that I'm Chandler, so if I don't joke around for half an hour, they think that something's wrong. Then… — Matthew Perry Copy Share Image
“Dating is basically this weird thing where you go out and pretend to be someone you're not until the other person likes… — Kevin Molesworth Copy Share Image
To me, everything is a joke in MMA when it comes to serious topics because you can't really talk seriously about anything… — Roy Nelson Copy Share Image
“A man goes to a psychiatrist and says, “My brother’s gone crazy. He thinks he’s a chicken.” And the psychiatrist says, “Have… — Tina Fey Copy Share Image
I always joke that I need to keep the Vandals in my back pocket for punk rock cred while I work with… — Josh Freese Copy Share Image
I've had shows where, afterwards, people have commented or hoped I would talk more about something in politics or that I would… — Wyatt Cenac Copy Share Image
I watch children a great deal; their idea is that rules are always negotiable, whereas you absolutely cannot joke at the airport… — Natalie Jeremijenko Copy Share Image
I wanted to be clever, but being funny came first. That's how you know someone is clever. They don't come out and… — Ricky Gervais Copy Share Image
When I lived in Argentina I had to change my sense of humour to fit in - I became a slapstick character… — Vick Hope Copy Share Image
“Sometimes When You Are Serious, People Thought You Were Joking, But Sometimes When You Are Joking, People Thought You Were Serious” — Harry Toh Jun Shen Copy Share Image
I can joke around and say I look and do the best, but honestly, I just feel like, whatever situation I'm in,… — Carmella Copy Share Image
Nobody calls me a racist when I do redneck jokes. Jeff Foxworthy can do as many 'You might be a redneck jokes'… — Carlos Mencia Copy Share Image
People want me to be funny all the time. They think I'm being funny no matter what I say or do and… — Christopher Guest Copy Share Image
As an actor, your life is constant ups and downs. My friends and I joke that when a job ends and nothing… — Ari Graynor Copy Share Image
“Thanks. Seriously, you must have better things to do with your life than waste it on the hopeless?' 'I've already learned Parseltongue.… — Michelle Hodkin Copy Share Image
'Community' is a comedy show, and one of the characters happens to be a Christian. I do think they have been very… — Yvette Nicole Brown Copy Share Image
Every time I get happy the Nana-hex comes through. Birds turn into plumber's tools, a sonnet turns into a dirty joke, a… — Anne Sexton Copy Share Image
For sure there's that old stigma, like the joke: 'What do you call a guy who hangs around with musicians? A drummer.'… — Josh Freese Copy Share Image
I think the BJP is a joke. It is a party of semi-literates and has fascist tendencies. Such a party can never… — Subramanian Swamy Copy Share Image
“Because here’s another sneaky little truth about life. You can’t be an important and life-changing presence for some people without also being… — Mark Manson Copy Share Image
You don't really get it from NASCAR that they want you to be the bad guy or the good guy. They'll kind… — Kyle Busch Copy Share Image
Women often try too hard to say what they think a man wants to hear, to like what he likes, to laugh… — Matthew Hussey Copy Share Image
There was a girl who loved a boy so much she said to the boy,if I told u that I liked u,would… — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
There is nothing worse than finding out your girlfriend is HIV positive when your wife is capable of ending your life, or… — Barack Obama Copy Share Image
With music there's so many limbs and facets. Video and touring and merchandise and all those little things require attention. They're artist… — Devendra Banhart Copy Share Image
When I got on tour in 2014, I was hitting a slice off the tee. No joke. Yeah, I had plenty of… — Tony Finau Copy Share Image
That Awkward Moment When A Nigga Gets Caught Masturbating By His BabyMama. He Doesn't Know What To Hide First, His Dick Or… — Oupa Copy Share Image
Growing up, there weren't many people on TV who looked like me - apart from the odd shopkeeper and the odd dodgy,… — Asim Chaudhry Copy Share Image
“Why is war so much like a practical joke? she thinks. Hiding behind bushes, leaping out, with not much difference between Boo!… — Margaret Atwood Copy Share Image
That was really so upsetting when you are trying to pass on some very serious knowledge and be basically, treated worse than… — Miroslav Vitous Copy Share Image
“It's a joke in the zoo business, a weary joke, that the paperwork involved in trading a shrew weighs more than an… — Yann Martel Copy Share Image
Whenever you're talking about using humor in politics or in a policy speech or in a serious moment, you're talking about using… — Jon Lovett Copy Share Image
“Ronan," Noah said, "I have a super bad feeling." "It's called being dead," Ronan replied. "That's the sort of joke that's only… — Maggie Stiefvater Copy Share Image
In 1945, peace broke out. It was the end of the Joke. Joke warfare was banned at a special session of the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I love people with strong convictions, because we are living in a very PC world. You can't crack a joke without it… — Imelda May Copy Share Image
