“A tickle, an itch, and a scratch walk into a bar while I was in the corner drinking a thermos full of… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’ve just begun to scratch the surface of my talent, and boy does my talent itch. It’s like a red mosquito bite… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I stitched an itch to my side. As far as surgeries go, I’m just barely scratching the surface.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I enjoy scratching itches on my body with my beard stubble. The worst though is when my lower back itches.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If I shed my skin like a shed, rather than a snake, then you might expect me to have shingles.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I named my car Itch, not because it’s all scratched up, though it is, but because it got under my skin without… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I have an itch. Wait, scratch that. That’s just a tickle that comes from being in love with someone who’s not in… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My fingers itch, and the more I scratch the more it tickles. Tickle, itch, tickle, itch, this whole experience reminds me of… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Orafoura once told me that if I were a car, I’d be a Ferrari. One that was scratched smashed, rusted, and stolen.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“What makes a good leader? I ask myself this every day, and then as I begin to list off characteristics I realize I’m describing… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“I’d like to file a missing person’s report—on my clone. It’s nearly 2012. He should have been here by now.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
