Ifs Quotes by Mason Cooley

Conformity makes everything easier, if you can still breathe.

— Mason Cooley

If the current is right, one can drift to success.

— Mason Cooley

If your nose is up in the air, you cannot see where you are going.

— Mason Cooley

If I had found the words I was looking for, I would not have read so much.

— Mason Cooley

Self-realization sounds good. But what if only an enraged dwarf emerges?

— Mason Cooley

If you should ever acknowledge my existence, I plan to snub you.

— Mason Cooley

Shaw writes as if it were always midday.

— Mason Cooley

Adversity can strengthen us if it does not go on too long.

— Mason Cooley

At the dinner table, if you can't think of anything to say, sit quietly. Don't throw rolls, or chew on your napkin.

— Mason Cooley

If you have no power, talk about your influence. If you have power, talk about the constraints that hem you in.

— Mason Cooley

Men and women would be even more unhappy if they really understood one another.

— Mason Cooley

If you do not throw in a few promises of better things to come, gloomy one, I am going to take you…

— Mason Cooley

If everything had a label, we would live in a fully delineated but false world.

— Mason Cooley

Rage against the world, if you like, but quietly, or the Guardians will awake.

— Mason Cooley

Children would die of terror if they knew the folly and ignorance of their caretakers.

— Mason Cooley

Children consider disliking their parents natural, but if the dislike is returned, they are outraged.

— Mason Cooley

Do as you like--if you know what it is.

— Mason Cooley

If we knew enough, fortune would turn out to be nature.

— Mason Cooley

What's the good of being stoical if nobody notices?

— Mason Cooley

It's no good being exclusive if nobody wants in.

— Mason Cooley

If folly disappeared, wit would starve.

— Mason Cooley

If a problem is insoluble, it is Necessity. Leave it alone.

— Mason Cooley

I would be glad to worship success if I could find her.

— Mason Cooley

A goldfish is reason enough for living, if someone needs a reason.

— Mason Cooley

Shameless: Punish me for my desire if you will. It burns still.

— Mason Cooley

The same old thing--even if it's champagne--is still the same old thing.

— Mason Cooley

Boredom turns to panic if my beloved leaves before the usual time.

— Mason Cooley

If you corner me, you are going to hear some unwelcome truths.

— Mason Cooley

If I want my time wasted, I'll waste it myself.

— Mason Cooley

If you are going to be rude, be quick about it.

— Mason Cooley

If you belong to the underclass, you are already guilty.

— Mason Cooley

Death is just around the corner. If only it would stay there.

— Mason Cooley

If there is no harm in asking, why guilt and fear when we do so?

— Mason Cooley

If suffering brought wisdom, the dentist's office would be full of luminous ideas.

— Mason Cooley

If I could do my life over, I would try to cleanse at least my pleasures of self-pity.

— Mason Cooley

If you insist on asking me why I feel the way I do, I plan to take the Fifth Amendment.

— Mason Cooley