A Christian's first duty is to God. It then follows, as a matter of course, that it is his duty to carry… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I was educated, I was trained, I was a Presbyterian and I knew how these things are done. I knew that in… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Nothing agrees with me. If I drink coffee, it gives me dyspepsia; if I drink wine, it gives me the gout; if… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
What is the chief end of man?-to get rich. In what way?-dishonestly if we can; honestly if we must. Who is God,… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Who would find out that I am a natural fool if I kept always cool and never let nature come to the… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If there wasn't anything to find out, it would be dull. Even trying to find out and not finding out is just… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Eight grown Americans out of ten dread the coming of the Fourth, with its pandemonium and its perils, and they rejoice when… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The idea that no gentleman ever swears is all wrong. He can swear and still be a gentleman if he does it… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If the metrics you are looking at aren't useful in optimizing your strategy - stop looking at them. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I am technically "boss" of the family which I am carrying along-but I am grateful to know that it is only technically… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Look at the mother of Washington! She raised a boy that could not tell a lie--could not tell a lie! But he… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
What is the real function, the essential function, the supreme function, of language? Isn't it merely to convey ideas and emotions? Certainly.… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Franklin said once in one of his inspired flights of malignity-- Early to bed and early to rise Make a man healthy… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The self taught man seldom knows anything accurately, and he does not know a tenth as much as he could have known… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The equator was wisely put where it is, because if it had been run through Europe all the kings would have tried… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
When an audience does not complain, it is a compliment, and when it does, it is a compliment, too, if unaccompanied by… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The rain ...falls upon the just and the unjust alike; a thing which would not happen if I were superintending the rain's… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If Christ were here now, there is one thing he would not be a Christian. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I could have become a soldier if I had waited; I knew more about retreating than the man who invented retreating. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
One thing at a time, is my motto - and just play that thing for all it is worth, even if it's… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The citizen who thinks he sees that the commonwealth's political clothes are worn out, and yet holds his peace and does not… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If the desire to kill and the opportunity to kill came always together, who would escape hanging? — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
In God We Trust. It is the choicest compliment that has ever been paid us, and the most gratifying to our feelings.… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If you had made the acquiring of ignorance the study of your life, you could not have graduated with higher honor than you could… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“The Creator sat upon the throne, thinking. Behind him stretched the illimitable continent of heaven, steeped in a glory of light and color; before… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
A man accustomed to American food and American domestic cookery would not starve to death suddenly in Europe, but I think he would gradually… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The higher animals get their teeth without pain or inconvenience. Man gets his through months and months of cruel torture; he will never get… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“As far as I can see, Italy, for fifteen hundred years, has turned all her energies, all her finances, and all her industry to… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Begin with the determination to succeed and the work is half done already. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Many public-school children seem to know only two dates—1492 and 4th of July; and as a rule they don't know what happened on either… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
