[To woman bragging about having kept her husband for seven years:] Don't worry, if you keep him long enough, he'll come back… — Dorothy Parker Copy Share Image
If you looked for things to make you feel hurt and wretched and unnecessary, you were certain to find them ... — Dorothy Parker Copy Share Image
The only useful thing I ever learned in school was that if you spit on your eraser it erased ink. — Dorothy Parker Copy Share Image
If all the young ladies who attended the Yale promenade dance were laid end to end, no one would be the least… — Dorothy Parker Copy Share Image
I might repeat to myself . . . a list of quotations from minds profound - if I can remember any of the damn things. — Dorothy Parker Copy Share Image
If, with the literate, I am Impelled to try an epigram, I never seek to take the credit; We all assume that… — Dorothy Parker Copy Share Image
Then if my friendships break and bend, There's little need to cry The while I know that every foe Is faithful till… — Dorothy Parker Copy Share Image
There must be a magnificent disregard of your reader, for if he cannot follow you, there is nothing you can do about… — Dorothy Parker Copy Share Image
Men don't like nobility in woman. Not any men. I suppose it is because the men like to have the copyrights on… — Dorothy Parker Copy Share Image
[On William Lyon Phelps's Happiness:] It is second only to a rubber duck as the ideal bathtub companion. It may be held… — Dorothy Parker Copy Share Image
Yes, well, let me tell you that if nobody had ever learned to quote, very few people would be in love with… — Dorothy Parker Copy Share Image
All I say is, nobody has any business to go around looking like a horse and behaving as if it were all… — Dorothy Parker Copy Share Image
Maybe it is only I, but conditions are such these days, that if you use studiously correct grammar, people suspect you of… — Dorothy Parker Copy Share Image
Benchley and I had an office in the old Life magazine that was so tiny, if it were an inch smaller it… — Dorothy Parker Copy Share Image
...as for helping me in the outside world, the Convent taught me only that if you spit on a pencil eraser, it… — Dorothy Parker Copy Share Image
... if this world were anything near what it should be there would be no more need of a Book Week than… — Dorothy Parker Copy Share Image
How do people go to sleep? I'm afraid I've lost the knack. I might try busting myself smartly over the temple with… — Dorothy Parker Copy Share Image
There's little in taking or giving, There's little in water or wine: This living, this living, this living, Was never a project of mine.… — Dorothy Parker Copy Share Image
Hollywood is the one place on earth where you could die of encouragement. — Dorothy Parker Copy Share Image
“The two most beautiful words in the English language are 'check enclosed.” — Dorothy Parker Copy Share Image
Sometimes I think Ill give up trying, and just go completely Russian and sit on a stove and moan all day. — Dorothy Parker Copy Share Image
I was always sweet, at first. Oh, it's so easy to be sweet to people before you love them. — Dorothy Parker Copy Share Image
Misfortune, and recited misfortune especially, can be prolonged to the point where it ceases to excite pity and arouses only irritation. — Dorothy Parker Copy Share Image
The sun's gone dim, and the moon's gone black. For I loved him, and he didn't love back. — Dorothy Parker Copy Share Image
There's a hell of a distance between wisecracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words. — Dorothy Parker Copy Share Image
Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song, A medley of extemporanea; And love is a thing that can never go wrong; And I… — Dorothy Parker Copy Share Image
![“[To woman bragging about having kept her husband for seven years:] Don't worry, if you keep him long enough, he'll come back in style.” quote by Dorothy Parker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/42b/dorothy-parker-700_bragging_to-woman-bragging-about-having-kept-her_1436064.jpg)
![“[On William Lyon Phelps's Happiness:] It is second only to a rubber duck as the ideal bathtub companion. It may be held in the hand without causing muscular fatigue ... and it may be read through before the water has cooled. And if it slips down the drain pipe, all right, it slips down the drain…” quote by Dorothy Parker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/8fc/dorothy-parker-700_bathtubs_on-william-lyon-phelps-s-happiness-it-is_1940558.jpg)
