Religion supposed Heaven and Hell, the word of God, and sacraments, and twenty other circumstances which, taken seriously, are a wonderful check… — Jonathan Swift Copy Share Image
“Your dad's not dead." I winced. "In fact, isn't he some kind of big-shot union labor guy?" He nodded. "Yup. That's who… — KevaD Copy Share Image
“Angelina leaned forward as Sara pulled Miki back to her, "You know what they say about curiosity? That it stabbed the annoying… — Shelly Laurenston Copy Share Image
“The clock in the church tower said 4.32, as it had done for three hundred years. It was right once a day… — Spike Milligan Copy Share Image
“On a world where a common table implement is a little device with which you crack the ice that has formed on… — Ursula K. Le Guin Copy Share Image
Henry Kissinger is possessed of a truly superior intelligence, in addition to which he has two qualities which, unfortunately, many great men… — Mohammed Reza Pahlavi Copy Share Image
“Michael: "Thing is, I'd like to go out with you. What are you doing on Saturday?" Siobhan: "Committing suicide." Michael: "Alright then,… — John Hennessy Copy Share Image
I think comedy can be a way of sugar-coating a pill that needs to be taken, and whatever I complain about onstage,… — Jon Richardson Copy Share Image
“So, Violet." Zane turns his chair in my direction. "Is your day getting better yet?" "Pretty sure it's getting worse as we… — Nicole Christie Copy Share Image
“Joe Spork opens the door. The man departs. Joe turns to Polly to say something about how they’re obviously not going to… — Nick Harkaway Copy Share Image
The difference between farce and humour in literature is, I suppose, that farce strums louder and louder on one string, while humour… — V. S. Pritchett Copy Share Image
“Listening to Eminem makes me feel like a badass. Or at least as though I have the potential for badassery. I mean,… — Hannah Harrington Copy Share Image
“...his knees were held together by the skin-tight trousers, which consequently narrowed the aperture through which great quantities of malodorous, rancid dreck… — St. John Morris Copy Share Image
I've never sat down with the intent of trying to shock or anything like that; it just so happens that the sense… — Jim Jefferies Copy Share Image
“Im.’ The monosyllable was heavy with contempt. ‘’E’s a twat.’ ‘Is he?’ ‘Yeah, ’e is. Ask Kieran.’ She gave the impression that… — Robert Galbraith Copy Share Image
“You want fantasy? Here's one... There's this species that lives on a planet a few miles above molten rock and a few… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“If I don't get a girlfriend soon (number one on the list) I may have to resort to drastic measures like surgery… — J.A. Buckle Copy Share Image
“They’d tried to diagnose him but there was no apparent medical explanation for his behaviour. He was just what his mum called… — Eve Dangerfield Copy Share Image
“Iss all regulated Simon, everything in this country is. Yow can't scratch yer arse without some cunt filling o form abaht it.” — Wes Brown Copy Share Image
My partner of 45 years is Australian, and a big part of her character is that marvellous quality of irony which Aussies… — Miriam Margolyes Copy Share Image
The old water heater in my dressing room was working, but it was kind of tired. It gave off about as much… — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
“Humour is our 'default mode', if you like: we do not have to switch it on deliberately, and we cannot switch it… — Kate Fox Copy Share Image
“Listen, I didn’t ask for a face and body girls find attractive. But thanks to the mixture of my parents’ DNA, I’ve… — Simone Elkeles Copy Share Image
“When selecting a one-night stand, a heterosexual woman who is materialistic is a trillion times more likely to choose a sexually unattractive… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“Sometimes God dillies and dallies,’ Steve said, ‘and sometimes he just points at you and tells you to hang up your jock.” — Stephen King Copy Share Image
“There was Arctic John, a businessman from Salisbury who doesn’t hold water, Bruce Knott, a social worker from Cumberland who spends his… — St. John Morris Copy Share Image
“I've never felt erotica was a 'niche market'. 50 years ago, Earth's population was 3 billion. Now it's 7 billion. That tells… — Alex Milton Copy Share Image
“Take it!" he snarled, hurling the diamond necklace across the table at his opponent. "And may you rot in hell with it!"… — Sheri Cobb South Copy Share Image
“Hmm… if yelling at me makes you feel okay… then we can continue. I can even make some more tea for the… — Sam P. Grace Copy Share Image
“Private Benjamin lives next door but one to Bob Cryer from The Bill. I once saw him crouching down behind a sycamore… — St. John Morris Copy Share Image
“A seemingly simple task like taking a bath or wearing a condom feels like multitasking to someone who suffers from hemiplegia or… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“Rock and roll, big band, the blues. He loved them all. He would close his eyes and with a blissful smile begin… — Mitch Albom Copy Share Image
“For any given problem, if there's a simple solution it will already have been applied. So, perhaps, the solution isn't as simple… — Stuart Aken Copy Share Image
Sometimes you feel amazing about life and other times you just feel fat and depressed, so I think it's good to be… — Marina and the Diamonds Copy Share Image
“What’s your favourite position?” “I usually play winger.” “Zach, I adore you, but you can’t make soccer jokes during phone sex. It… — Tiffany Reisz Copy Share Image
“May the fleas of a thousand camels invade the crotch of the person that ruins your day. And may their arms be… — Keisha Keenleyside Copy Share Image
“Everywhere I go, I am asked if I think university stifles writers. My opinion is that it doesn't stifle enough of them.” — Flannery O'Connor Copy Share Image
“His relationship with illness was flirtatious; only a particularly attractive ailment could tempt him into bed.” — Sam Byers Copy Share Image
“You go to church to respect God, not the priest. By not going to church, you disrespect God, not the priest. -… — Giovanni Guareschi Copy Share Image
I don't think God's going to judge me based on my film work - although I hope he has a sense of… — Mark Wahlberg Copy Share Image
