“Darling, whose book is this to be?" "Ostensibly yours, my sweet" "I see -- rather like my life since I met you?"… — John Wyndham Copy Share Image
Holy Cow' is our effort in the right direction where with humour we make some pertinent points which we hope will get… — Sanjay Mishra Copy Share Image
“Need to get to Ruislip by sparrow-fart though', said the squadron leader. 'Think you can do that? Can I come along for… — Robert Rankin Copy Share Image
“When the bishop farted we were amused to hear about it. Should the ploughboy find treasure we must be told. But when… — Kingsley Amis Copy Share Image
“He finds himself bored by the shenanigans of highly spirited young men. Their concerns reside somewhere between balder and dash.” — Sara Sheridan Copy Share Image
My humour and my work ethic definitely come from my Scottish side, and I have to say the sense of humour doesn't… — John Barrowman Copy Share Image
“The table was covered with food like roast chicken, roast potatoes, roast parsnips, roast turkey, roast liquorice and, the centrepiece, a roasted… — Elias Zapple Copy Share Image
“The second surprise was the discovery that even though they might be a little bit on the bendy side, eating stale five-years-out-of-date… — Dani Atkins Copy Share Image
“Colonel Cathcart is our commanding officer and we must obey him. Why don't you fly four more missions and see what happens?"… — Joseph Heller Copy Share Image
“New becomes stale and old becomes fresh. The impractical, ageing estate long ago left behind to Singapore's pioneers and their homemade tofu… — Neil Humphreys Copy Share Image
“This was supposed to be yesterday. I was sitting on the Cardiff/London train, supposedly about to write this very column, and realising… — Steven Moffat Copy Share Image
“Cave basilischium! The rex of serpenti, tant pleno of poison that it all shines dehors! Che dicam, il veleno, even the stink… — Umberto Eco Copy Share Image
“Oh, that's great. That way, when things have quieted down, and we come up for air, or money, or re-supply, we'll get… — Howard Tayler Copy Share Image
“He leaned in and kissed her cheek. Just the lightest touch of lips, but it took her breath away. "What was that… — Kathryn James Copy Share Image
“The meaning of sex is illustrated by two eponymous heroes of British history, King Edward VII (who flourished in the years before… — Steve Jones Copy Share Image
“How are you feeling Sweet Peach?” he enquires as he walks across to the chest of drawers, selects a pair of socks… — J.C. McClean Copy Share Image
“His only real financial failure came at the age of thirteen when, in an uncharacteristic error of judgement, he invested £200,000 of… — Mark Jackman Copy Share Image
“Vanity's contribution to Fiction in general was an abundance of cheap labour and the occasional blockbuster, which was accepted into Fiction with… — Jasper Fforde Copy Share Image
“JOIN THE CIRCUS OF CHAOS ... juggling, stilt walking, and other skills for socially acceptable procrastination.” — Pat Murphy Copy Share Image
“I think you're a shit,’ said Keith sharply. ‘I think much of what you’ve done this season is shit and I think… — Dougie Brimson Copy Share Image
Anyone can play an instrument if you show them how to move their limbs, lips or fingers the right way. It's irrelevant.… — Alex Kapranos Copy Share Image
Think Big... Think Positive... Think Smart... Think Beautiful... Think Great... I know, that is too much for u, so here is a… — Janik Seshan Copy Share Image
“I am in Waterstones looking at all the chick lit rubbish on the shelves. In a fit of pique, I turn them… — Maddie Grigg Copy Share Image
“Sister Georgina had studied at Cambridge or, as she put it, 'Not-the-one-in-Massachusetts-Cambridge-Universitythe-real-one-you-know-in-England.” — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Wer nicht liebt Wein, Weib, und Gesang, Der bleibt ein Narr sein Lebenlang (He who loves not Wine, Women and Song Remains… — Martin Luther Copy Share Image
Drafting is like painting the Golden Gate Bridge.The closer you get to the end, the more you start to worry about the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“What can you do for love? Can you leave a person for love? Can you leave a country for love? I think… — Sanhita Baruah Copy Share Image
“Foolish potato, talking to her like that won’t work. You’ve got to be mean and show off your foil-wrapped rigidity.” — Michael Diack Copy Share Image
“Don't mind Russ," he says. "He's a good kid underneath all those holes, although it's a wonder he doesn't spring a leak… — Sara Gruen Copy Share Image
I'm discovering there are innumerable ways to package, promote and sell my humor, as long as I reserve a little for myself… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“It is a building designed by committee: all they have been able to agree on is that it should be rectangular, have… — Max Barry Copy Share Image
“She bared her teeth at me. “Screw you, shifter!” “Ah, is our honeymoon period over so quickly? You wanted to jump my… — Cori Moore Copy Share Image
“Whenever they are condemning weaves or breast implants, some people speak so passionately that their false teeth almost fall out.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
I think optimism and humour are key words for me to make the films accessible, which means they can really travel and… — Eran Riklis Copy Share Image
“It was here in Mayfair, that adjectives such as gracious elegant sophisticated and sublime trip off the tongue like coins into a… — Tyne O'Connell Copy Share Image
I don't know why I have these dreams. I've never wanted to be Pope. In fact, I have a greater affinity to… — Peter Ustinov Copy Share Image
“That´s the problem with planning a late night supper after the opera, not only does the hero or the heroine die singing,… — E.A. Bucchianeri Copy Share Image
“Many if not most slaves would have each readily jumped, and many if not most slaves would each readily jump, at the… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
I find it a lot with Australian and New Zealand comics, and people from that part of the world, we share quite… — Natasia Demetriou Copy Share Image
I don't know, maybe Australian humour isn't supposed to be funny. It's as dry as the Sahara, and I think people miss… — Nick Cave Copy Share Image
