Humor Quotes · Page 86

“Challenge is tough. It needs efforts, energy and time.”

— Joseph Finder

“The slang for the rectum is "prison wallet".”

— Mary Roach

“Aye, Captain. I have a good memory. Except for the amnesia.”

— Elaine Corvidae

Just tell the truth, and they'll accuse you of writing black humor.

— Charles Willeford

Nothing spoils romance so much as a sense of humour in the woman.

— Oscar Wilde

Last time I called shotgun we had rented a limo, so I messed up!

— Mitch Hedberg

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

— W. C. Fields

“I'm lost in a sea of smiles as laughter echos all around me.”

— Elizabeth Heller

“Why do humans never do as they're told? Someone should replace you all with robots. No, on second though, they shouldn't, bad…

— Jonathan Morris

I've got it all in here ultra violets, flying saucers, strawberry bootlace come on get involved.

— Noel Fielding

“Jimmy Murray, you are an ass,' said Aunt Ruth, angrily. 'Well, we're cousins,' agreed Cousin Jimmy pleasantly.”

— L.M. Montgomery

The ability to understand and deliver comedy and tragedy is extremely rare in one composer.

— Signe Baumane

Bob Davis has his hair differently this year, short with curls like Randy Jones wears. I think you call it a Frisbee.

— Jerry Coleman

I'd known the Duke of Edinburgh over a period of 40 years, so I'd long been accustomed to his sense of humor.

— Gyles Brandreth

“I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.”

— Steven Wright

Analysing comedy is like dissecting a frog. Nobody laughs and the frog dies.

— Barry Cryer

Like inspirational quotes, which have been huge on Pinterest. Or looking at dog photos! We didn't know how to take those uses…

— Evan Sharp

Although I do use some of my psychology training in comedy, but it's more like pop psychology, not a course of treatment…

— Matt Walsh

“I couldn’t have loved her more if she was my own child. But sometimes I considered shaving her eyebrows off while she…

— Molly Harper

I saw a door that said exit only. So I entered through it and went up to the guy working there and…

— Demetri Martin

The best way to get rid of the Devil, if you cannot kill it with the words of Holy Scripture, is to…

— Martin Luther

You get into comedy because you are insecure, and you communicate with the world through comedy to sort of alleviate the tension…

— Andy Samberg

“Erin’s throat closed up a little. “We slept together after knowing each other for three hours,” she whispered. “Why are you whispering?…

— Jenny Lyn

“I'm glad you escaped, Kyra," Fred said, looking serious again. "And that I found you." "Me too," Kyra said, glancing up at…

— Bridget Zinn

“The first skeptic was probably caused by diarrhea.”

— Michael Palmero

It's really challenging to play comedy.

— Michelle Monaghan

“Life, Love, libraries, have no future”

— Nabokov Vladimir

“Oh, look at that, he's heard of me. My fame grows.”

— Julie Kagawa

Getting married at 22 sounds a lot like leaving a party at 9:30pm.

— Anonymous

Comedy is always good for a broken heart.

— Anonymous

“Lingerer, my brain is on fire with impatience; and you tarry so long!”

— Charlotte Brontë

Google must be a woman, it knows everything.

— Anonymous

Humor is... despair refusing to take itself seriously.

— Arland Ussher

Good comedy doesn't have to be a comedy idea.

— Seth Rogen

“Danger: Attitude subject to change without notice.”

— Darynda Jones

“Obsessing over a boy makes the time fly.”

— Alecia Whitaker

“Who knew death could lead to an eating disorder?”

— Corey Redekop

“Um, she'll take your number if you're single”

— J.L. McCoy

Some of the best fiction writers got their start writing airline menus.

— Erma Bombeck

I think a sense of humor will help get a girl out of a dark place.

— Twyla Tharp