I do miss the rhythms of comedy. And I've never been able to perform very well without an audience. The sitcoms I've… — Dick Van Dyke Copy Share Image
“This is where the privileged send their screwed-up progeny; no gluing macaroni to construction paper for us." He paused meaningfully. "They only… — Michelle Hodkin Copy Share Image
“So, what you're saying is that I bring out your book - wielding, short tempered side?" He hooked his foot through the… — Lani Woodland Copy Share Image
“President Grant sent a note to Golden. The note read that there was a member of the stake presidency from Coalville, who… — James Kimball Copy Share Image
“I don’t want to talk about it,” she said. Once again he was close. Too close. So damn close. “At all,” she… — Jill Shalvis Copy Share Image
“That's No'-as-big-as-Medium-Sized-Jock-but-bigger-than-Wee-Jock-Jock, mistress,' said Not-as-big-as-Medium-Sized-Jock-but-bigger-than-Wee-Jock-Jock. 'Ye were one jock short,' he added helpfully.” — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“As he was forced to tell his father more than once, “I said I’d fight for my mother’s throne. I never said… — G.A. Aiken Copy Share Image
“I felt offended. So offended that I planned to ignore for the next few weeks the "friends" who'd sent me those pictures.… — Gabourey Sidibe Copy Share Image
“You wouldn't think that people would believe that we all got so incredibly beat up—in so many interesting ways—from a bear attack.… — Kendare Blake Copy Share Image
“Late twenties, single, female. Do the math. Flirty flings were fabulous until you hit the big three-O, all downhill from there. Biological… — Nicola Marsh Copy Share Image
Vanity was the beginning and the end of Sir Walter Elliot's character; vanity of person and of situation. He had been remarkably… — Jane Austen Copy Share Image
“Look, this is just the cemetery. It's got bylaws and things! It's not Transylvania! There's just dead people here! That doesn't make… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
I look at my women with a Shakespearean element too - the variant of emotions they are capable of - it's not… — Miles Aldridge Copy Share Image
Voyeurism, watching people go about their daily lives, is universally funny, no matter the culture, no matter the anything, it's just always… — James Murray Copy Share Image
“A friend confided to me recently that she wasn't sure if it was the 'change,' plain old PMS, or just a slow… — Celia Rivenbark Copy Share Image
“At first, writing actually felt the more arduous of the two activities. But in order to reach cultural-center nirvana, I forced myself… — Yu Hua Copy Share Image
Ah simple laughter that you trewing on my face. Is a simple karma that you will get for tomorrow.. Ah big clap… — Leodonessiony Copy Share Image
“Tugs used to think that everyone's name was in the dictionary, and when she had realized it was only hers, both Tugs… — Anne Ylvisaker Copy Share Image
“She couldn't or simply wouldn't understand why I wanted to sleep all the time, and she was always rubbing my nose in… — Ottessa Moshfegh Copy Share Image
“Now I know thinking is not your strong suit, but look on the bright side, at least you'll have this little puzzler… — Jessica Verdi Copy Share Image
“Lassiter hit pause and clamped a hard hand on his shoulder."Sit the fuck back. Watch and learn." "What? How much I hate… — J.R. Ward Copy Share Image
It's funny, because I was trained as a dramatic actor at New York's Colonnades Theater Lab in the '70s, along with Jeff… — Peter Scolari Copy Share Image
Things have been invented because of alcohol. Like the taser, okay? Yeah! The morning after pill, okay? The reach-around. Judge Judy. What… — Dave Attell Copy Share Image
Every man who has reached even his intellectual teens begins to suspect that life is no farce; that it is not genteel… — Henry James Sr Copy Share Image
“I wish I had my beta-blockers handy. [ Comment when told that he had won a Nobel prize, referring to the drug… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Please consult your child’s Witch doctor before using this product. Diapers may cause severe allergies, internal bleeding, and irreversible sex change.” — Kenya Wright Copy Share Image
“Because I can't help doing it," he said with a shrug. "And hey, if I keep loving you, maybe you'll eventually crack… — Richelle Mead Copy Share Image
I have more respect for somebody who's like, 'Yeah I like to party, so screw off,' then for Tara , who talks… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
“Dr. Clair looked at Layton. The mancala pieces were still in her hand. If Angela Ashforth ever says anything like that to… — Reif Larsen Copy Share Image
I'm a 'Bridesmaids' type of girl. I love silliness. That's who I am at heart, and I know I can do it.… — Kaley Cuoco Copy Share Image
I think that if you see that people are laughing, you know they haven't given up hope. You see that people are… — Lizz Winstead Copy Share Image
“Mr. Cupples came out of his reverie. "I think," he said, "I will have milk and soda-water." "Speak lower!" urged Trent. "The… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I have never examined the subject of humor until now. I am surprised to find how much ground it covers. I have… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“Indeed, a faint hypnopædic prejudice in favour of size was universal. Hence the laughter of the women to whom he made proposals,… — Aldous Huxley Copy Share Image
“Charientism (n.) A rhetorical term to describe saying a disagreeable thing in an agreeable way. If I knew how to say disagreeable… — Ammon Shea Copy Share Image
When Stephen was first diagnosed, we weren't actually going out together, but I was already falling in love with him. He had… — Jane Hawking Copy Share Image
It's not that Millennials don't believe some things are serious. We'll make 'It Gets Better' videos or perform comedy for disaster relief.… — Alexandra Petri Copy Share Image
“Is it time for your period, or something?" With unerring instinct, he'd found a great big red button, and pushed it. Wyatt… — Linda Howard Copy Share Image
“To give expression to humour, and write in a strain of graceful pleasantry, is the gift of great geniuses. The cleverest character… — Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra Copy Share Image
“Judgments based on preconceptions make life simple for us to deal with since that means we safely shield ourselves behind barriers of… — Janvier Chouteu-Chando Copy Share Image
![“I wish I had my beta-blockers handy. [ Comment when told that he had won a Nobel prize, referring to the drug he discovered for the treatment of heart disease .]” quote by Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0f6/anonymous-1_beta-blockers_i-wish-i-had-my-beta-blockers-handy-comm_2565885.jpg)
