Lady met man on and pointed to his suede jacket. You know a cow was murdered for that jacket, she sneered. He… — Megz Copy Share Image
“All I'm trying to say is that if you're not willing to observe this, if you're just going to condemn it, you're… — Jim Paul Copy Share Image
I'm very drawn to subversive comedy like Alexander Payne and Jason Reitman. But at the end of the day, if you want… — Kelly Rohrbach Copy Share Image
Comedy historians take note: this Gottfried character doesn't have the best eye for detail - and, for a Jew, he doesn't have… — Gilbert Gottfried Copy Share Image
“Nonsense! I have merely come to terms with the fact that I am perfect, and I have decided life must go on,… — C.N. Faust Copy Share Image
“Aren't you going to dry the floor?' asked Annika. 'Oh, no, it can dry in the sun,' answered Pippi. 'I don't think… — Astrid Lindgren Copy Share Image
My wife never gives up. She is so insistent that she entered the wrong password over and over again until she managed… — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
“ Omg this is like one of those sappy romance movies but I don’t care! Jake is holding my hand! I looked… — Bella Shadow Copy Share Image
I like those blow-up beds. "This becomes a full size bed in three minutes!" Well, a mattress kicks your ass. Zero seconds.… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
My father was a really funny guy. He lived a good long life. And he was the reason I wanted to be… — Carol Leifer Copy Share Image
My intention when I make a film is very clear. I make it for a certain kind of people who have average… — Priyadarshan Copy Share Image
“What just like that? You're not going to tell the chicken plucker you're leaving?" "She already knows," Grimalkin said picking his way… — Julie Kagawa Copy Share Image
“A veces el usa lenguaje de surfista californiano igual que todo el mundo aquí, y otras veces parece que ha salido de… — Alyson Noel Copy Share Image
“She closed her eyes. “Okay, here’s the thing. We have some chemistry,” she allowed. “Some? Or supernova?” “Supernova. But,” she said to… — Jill Shalvis Copy Share Image
“She said, "You might become politicians." "No!" cried Beni, with sudden fierceness; "we must not abandon our high calling. Bandits we have… — L. Frank Baum Copy Share Image
“My ignorance is based on this understanding. Your understanding is based on ignorance. This is why I am a humorous fool, and… — Dan Millman Copy Share Image
“Robert could piss in a cup and men would call it wine, but I offer them cold clear water and they squint… — George R.R. Martin Copy Share Image
“CG: ATTENTION WORTHLESS HUMAN. CG: THIS IS YOUR GOD SPEAKING. CG: IT IS A WRATHFUL GOD WHO DESPISES YOU MORE THAN YOU… — Andrew Hussie Copy Share Image
“With a century and change between the 1880 convention and now, I’ll admit I rolled my eyes at the ideological hairsplitting, wondering… — Sarah Vowell Copy Share Image
“Personally, I don’t mind a good cry. In fact, if I cry while chopping onions, I’ll run to the bathroom mirror and… — Clinton Kelly Copy Share Image
My drama instructor suggested I try comedy. I was resistant at first because I considered myself a serious actor, but of course… — Cecily Strong Copy Share Image
“It has all the right ingredients: rich contents, friendly, personal language, subtle humor, the right references, and a plethora of pointers to… — Steven S. Skiena Copy Share Image
“Out of the corner of her eye she thought she saw Jace shoot her a look of white rage - but when… — Cassandra Clare Copy Share Image
“…I notice that people always make gigantic arrangements for bathing when they are going anywhere near the water, but that they don’t… — Jerome K. Jerome Copy Share Image
The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to make strangers laugh, and Make people talk… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
“The report was so loud Nicholas thought the guard had fired into his head. He staggered as the man’s grip fell away,… — Martha Wells Copy Share Image
“No, I really did. I walked into that room and saw the hottest, sexiest guy I've ever seen - wet and half… — Nicole Christie Copy Share Image
“ Readin' all those books makes me wonder whether anyone ever dies natural." " They don't," said William mysteriously. " Robert says… — Richmal Crompton Copy Share Image
“A good, but unexamined life will be high on duty and not likely to celebrate the odd paradoxes, the ironic coincidences and… — C.S. Lewis Copy Share Image
“As special as it is to listen to your friends argue over whether or not you have a mental illness,I'm starting to… — Kendare Blake Copy Share Image
“There are three types of wanker in this world. There’s the ones you pity, the sad, boring type of wanker who life… — White Gold Ed Westwick (Vincent Swan Copy Share Image
“She stared at his sharp teeth and swallowed the lump that formed in her throat. “Um, you look scary when you show… — Laurann Dohner Copy Share Image
“This song is for my Molly, who is the best fucking thing that´s ever happened to me. Also, for those suicidal idiots… — Nalini Singh Copy Share Image
“I'm telling you, you really should stick to mating within your species, whatever that is.' 'I would,' I said, 'but unfortunately, there… — Kristin Walker Copy Share Image
“No idea how you figured out the riddle, but you scooped the first prize. Congratulations. You've just won a vacation to a… — Jayde Scott Copy Share Image
Dame Edna is that rarest sighting in our time of the absolute comic, an inspired personification of caprice whose comedy answered the… — John Lahr Copy Share Image
“...for Hobie, who sorrowed over these elegant old remnants as if they were underfed children or mistreated cats, it was a point… — Donna Tartt Copy Share Image
If there's one regret I have of my time in comedy it's that I really I was so obsessed with improv for… — Chris Gethard Copy Share Image
One time I stayed at a haunted motel. When I checked into my room, there was a sheet on the floor, and… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I can't speak for everyone, but the kind of comedy that makes me laugh are the ones that kind of make me… — Sharon Needles Copy Share Image
